The Dream by Andrea Thompson The captain was agitated. Counselor Troi sensed it the moment he stepped onto the bridge. Outwardly he conveyed a calm yet appropriately concerned aura. Of the crew, only Diana could detect the undertone. She studied him as he acknowledged Commander Riker's silent shake of the head indicating there had been no change of status in his absence. Picard sat stiffly in the command chair, resolutely ignoring the counselor's gaze. His hands rested lightly on the arm's control panels and gently traced their outlines as he focused intently on the forward viewscreen. He strained to see that which the external sensors could not detect. Around him the bridge crew went about their duties with an almost mechanical quality. Their concern for the missing shuttle crew was firmly pushed to one side as they plunged themselves whole heartedly into the familiar routine of a standard search. The procedures and details served as a distraction to alleviate the anxiety. The captain and his first officer had no such distractions. Riker was on edge. He detested inaction and the feeling of redundancy that a situation like this brought. He knew they were doing all they could, a methodical sweep of the area, but it just didn't feel like enough. He glanced across at the captain and not for the first time envied his patience. He emulated Picard's countenance and tried a mental relaxation technique Deanna had taught him. Picard focused his thoughts on the mundane. He listened to the sycophantic whirring of the life support system continually adjusting and readjusting their environment, the chirrups and bleeps from the computer terminals and the sounds of Riker continually adjusting his position in his chair as he fought the urge to leap up and pace the decks. Underlying this cacophony he fancied he could feel the thrum of the warp core eager to release its mighty force on his command. The effect was like a well loved symphony, it invited him to a duet and lifted his heart in this difficult time. Hours passed. "We have completed the scan of section gamma 41. Commencing scan of section gamma 42." Lieutenant Commander Data's statement punctuated Picard's thoughts and stirred him into action. "Mr. Data, how long do you estimate it will take to complete the search?" "Given the difficulty we are experiencing due to the proximity of Pulsar 451 and the possibility that sensor range could deteriorate as we move closer towards it I believe the minimum time required to complete the search is sixteen hours forty one minutes." Data turned to observe the captain to gauge whether his reply had been precise enough. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Picard who gave a simple appreciative nod as a reply. Data, satisfied his new sub routine was functioning satisfactorily, resumed his duties and missed the indulgent smiles exchanged by the captain and Riker. "Well, I don't know about you Number One," said Picard as he stood and stretched his back. "But I can't remain alert for another sixteen hours. I think it's time we let Mr. Data take over." The first officer instinctively began to protest but thought better of it. He scratched his beard and stifled a yawn. "You're right. All this sitting around is exhausting ." It was a contradictory statement but Picard knew that for a man like Will Riker the un-utilised nervous energy he was generating would be gnawing him away from the inside. He needed a few hours to exorcise the vehemence in the gym or on the holodeck. "Mr. Data, you have the bridge. I expect to informed immediately should you find something." Picard and Riker strode towards the turbo lift. As they approached, the doors swished open and out stepped a resolute Dr. Crusher. "Doctor, you're too late I'm afraid," said the captain jovially. "What do you mean, " she retorted, immediately on the defensive. The captain extended a hand towards the open lift door and motioned that they should continue inside. As the doors closed behind them he continued. "Too late to storm onto my bridge and order Commander Riker and myself to bed." Beverly feigned surprise. "Me? I was merely coming to see how the search was progressing," she lied. "Oh, my apologies then, " conceded Picard and let the matter drop. Normally he would have relished the chance to bait the doctor but it did not seem right while crew were missing. Riker noticed the change in mood. "I can't help feeling responsible" he stated not for the first time. "I should have assigned a more experienced officer to lead the away mission. What was I thinking letting two young ensigns go off alone...." "Will!" Picard interrupted. "You're forgetting that I endorsed you're choice. Ensign Torres and Ensign Roberts are highly capable young officers. It was a routine planetary survey and they are quite able to look after themselves. You've got to take a chance and let people work without a net at some point if you want them to progress. They wanted a chance to excel, you gave it to them and rightly so. Now let that be an end to it!" The words came out more harshly than the sentiment he was trying to convey. This wasn't the time for moralising speeches. When the turbolift reached its destination Riker nodded and wished them a curt goodnight. Picard stepped out and paused smoothing his eyebrows as if to straighten them into some defined Starfleet formation while the other hand hovered hopefully at his side as if hoping to discover a previously uncharted pocket in the familiar uniform. Beverly, already several paces ahead, turned to see what was keeping him. She noticed his momentary unease and delicately raised and eyebrow as if to question him. "Beverly," he said summoning all his charm and dignity. "Would you care to join me for a night-cap?" This she could deal with. "Certainly Captain," was the reply and with the sweetest of smiles she took his arm and conveyed Jean Luc to his quarters. Once inside , Picard delved around in the cabinet below the replicator and surfaced with a bottle of Cognac and a couple of balloon-like glasses. "Forgive me if I feel like something a little stronger than tea," he offered as he poured two measures. Beverly suspected that there was more to this than a couple of missing Ensigns. *Oh well in for a penny..* she thought and accepted, making herself comfortable on the sofa. The captain remained standing, gazing past her to the star field beyond the window. "Out with Jean Luc!" Inwardly the captain smiled. *How many times have I heard that phrase* he wondered. Probably too many times to count. Beverly was his sounding board, always willing to half the proverbial problem. Did she realise the special power she had over him. He couldn't be sure. And yet... "Well!" His thoughts were interrupted and the gravity of the situation reasserted its self. The desire to unburden himself of his grievances poured forth and somewhat reluctantly he sat down. "Will may blame himself for the failure of the away mission but I can't help feeling partly responsible myself, " he began uncomfortably. Beverly rested a hand on his knee urging him to continue. "I was responsible for Ensign Roberts entry into Starfleet. In fact, you were partly responsible too for that matter. Do you remember that conference we attended on Dakkis IX? Beverly nodded vaguely and he continued. "We had arranged to meet for dinner and you were quite late. I spent the best part of an hour chatting to a very eager young waiter named Carl Roberts. He'd spent almost quarter of an hour plucking up the courage to come over and talk to me but soon all the shyness vanished as he quizzed me relentlessly about my experiences." Beverly was puzzled. "I don't remember any of this," she said. Picard ignored her statement. He didn't know why he hadn't mentioned it. Maybe it was because he felt a little guilty. When the doctor had eventually arrived he was resentful of having to end the conversation he had been enjoying. "I thought nothing more of it until several months later I received a communication from him almost begging me to sponsor his application to Starfleet Academy. Normally I would never consider such a thing. I barely knew him but somehow he reminded me of myself at his age, desperate to get into space..." his voice trailed off as if words were a poor medium to describe his youthful dreams. Realising he'd lost the thread of the tale he was telling he continued. "That was five years ago. To his credit and my relief he graduated top of his class and I requested him for a tour on the Enterprise." The captain sat back and sighed a long low sigh as if he'd just revealed a dark and shameful secret but Beverly still did not understand. "I don't see how that makes you responsible for the present situation. He was obviously an outstanding officer. Riker had faith enough in him to allow him to lead an away mission. And in any case we don't know for sure that they've come to harm." The captain realised Beverly had missed the point he was trying to make and he slowly shook his head. "It's not Carl I'm so concerned with. He has no wife and family relying on him. I know he would gladly lay down his life if it meant he could have a taste of the adventure of exploration, as would I. But Ensign Torrences is a different matter. I placed his life in Carl's hands and I'm not sure I had a right to do that. How can I tell his wife that she may never see her husband again because I wanted to give a promising officer a chance to prove himself!" As soon as the words were spoken he realised their implications. Beverly flushed slightly with anger. "Jean Luc! Just because people choose to have relationships it doesn'...
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