Top.Gear.S15E01.txt

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{293}{406}On today's show, James catches fire.
{406}{468}Richard knocks something over.
{468}{537}And I crash a Reliant Robin|into to a lamppost.
{703}{745}Hello!
{745}{799}Hello, we're back! We're back!
{837}{877}We're back and we are...
{915}{984}..more sensible than ever.
{984}{1061}Well, we're starting sensibly|anyway, with this,
{1061}{1107}the Bentley Continental GT.
{1107}{1173}It's not my cup of tea,|if I'm honest,
{1173}{1295}but if you live in Cheshire and you|have to travel great distances
{1295}{1440}at high speed in drinks globe luxury|it really is in a class of one.
{1440}{1541}Now, however, there's a new version|which is a bit different.
{1784}{1903}It's called the Continental|Supersports, and this is it.
{1903}{1944}The fastest,
{1944}{2089}most outlandish car|Bentley has ever made.
{2089}{2156}First of all, it's been lightened.
{2156}{2274}The rear seat|has been replaced with air.
{2274}{2447}The sofas up front are now|racing buckets trimmed in the Duke|of Westminster's smoking jacket.
{2485}{2588}And there is carbon fibre|on the dash rather than walnut.
{2678}{2817}The result is dramatic|because that car weighs|just two and a quarter tons,
{2817}{2906}about the same|as a three bedroom terraced house.
{2991}{3088}Still, it's not like there isn't|enough power to deal with the bulk.
{3088}{3235}It has the same engine as before,|a 6 litre twin turbo W12,
{3235}{3377}but now it produces|621 horsepowers.
{3480}{3606}The result is|0 to 60 in 3.7 seconds.
{4020}{4163}God, that is 167, 168|and it's still pulling!
{4223}{4327}Flat out,|it will do 204 miles an hour,
{4327}{4437}even if you fill the tank|with Jerusalem artichokes.
{4644}{4781}That engine has been designed to run|on something called bioethanol,|fuel made from plants.
{4781}{4877}And if you use that rather than|petrol the power output remains
{4877}{5015}the same, but you get fewer carbon|dioxides coming out of the back.
{5075}{5203}Sounds wonderful, if you believe|in this carbon malarkey,
{5203}{5259}but there are a couple of drawbacks.
{5308}{5516}First of all, there are 8,850|petrol stations in Britain, but|only 20 of them sell bioethanol.
{5516}{5675}And, secondly,|when you're running on maize|it's not what you'd call economical.
{5766}{5864}Honestly, it gets through veg|faster than Paul McCartney's ex.
{5916}{6001}The Supersports, then,|it's all much as you'd expect,
{6001}{6140}very fast, very heavy and at speed|about six miles to the gallon.
{6209}{6294}But don't be fooled|by the headlines.
{6294}{6412}This is spooky.
{6412}{6566}I've got an automatic gearbox|and air conditioning, satellite|navigation and it's very quiet.
{6566}{6717}It's just like a normal Bentley,|but look at the way|it changes direction.
{6913}{7060}This car is like an elephant with|the reflexes of a water boatman.
{7060}{7135}And if you're watching in|Poland and you don't know what
{7135}{7246}a water boatman is,|it's like an Evo X, it really is.
{7246}{7354}And if you're watching in Ethiopia|and you don't know what an Evo X is,
{7354}{7480}what I mean is it does things|rather well. No, not well!
{7480}{7542}Why did I say "well"? Oh, God.
{7581}{7725}Then you have the brakes which|can tear your face off.
{7725}{7787}Ready, now!
{8013}{8117}To make the Bentley a race track|screamer it's been fitted with
{8117}{8274}carbon ceramic discs, new suspension|bushes and different anti roll bars.
{8274}{8351}Though when I say different|I mean, of course, enormous.
{8410}{8551}They've also reprogrammed the four|wheel drive system so that now|most of the power goes to the back.
{8663}{8809}Imagine then that if you mash|the throttle into the carpets|halfway around a corner
{8809}{8962}it will spin up its rear wheels and|hang its tail out like a small dog.
{9000}{9093}Sorry, but was a dreadful simile,|dogs don't have wheels.
{9093}{9139}Unless they'd been in an accident.
{9204}{9269}But here's the extraordinary thing,|OK?
{9269}{9375}It doesn't! Coming up to|the Hammerhead going the wrong way,
{9375}{9418}halfway round, foot hard down...
{9607}{9694}..it doesn't! It just grips.
{9778}{9928}Of course, you can make it misbehave|if you go way too fast|and poke it with a stick.
{10085}{10187}But even if you do that|the computer steps in,
{10187}{10330}sends power to the front wheels|and, bang, everything is sorted out!
{10330}{10386}It is uncanny.
{10430}{10519}It is a very impressive car, this.
{10519}{10577}But I don't like it.
{10577}{10629}What they've tried to do here
{10629}{10721}is turn an ocean liner|into a speedboat.
{10824}{10902}And, yes, they have|sort of pulled it off,
{10902}{11071}but it still feels very big|and very heavy. Oh dear!
{11373}{11411}Whoa!
{11526}{11702}So big and so heavy in fact|that I believe it has just|shredded its rear tyres.
{11702}{11774}Oh ho!
{11774}{11897}Oh dear! Now, I don't think|that's legal any more,
{11897}{11948}or safe.
{12103}{12152}The upshot then is simple.
{12152}{12282}If I wanted to spend|L163,000 on a speedboat
{12282}{12400}I'd buy something that was|designed to be a speedboat|in the first place.
{12452}{12576}In short,|I'd buy an Aston Martin DBS.
{13006}{13046}Thank you very much.
{13107}{13200}Really? You would have the Aston?
{13200}{13227}Oh, yeah.
{13227}{13290}No, it's more nimble,|it's got two more seats,
{13290}{13338}doesn't weigh the same as a church.
{13338}{13427}Doesn't eat its own shoes. No,|this is the best car in the world.|No, it isn't.
{13427}{13525}Yes, it is. Anyway, we must now|find out how fast
{13525}{13588}the Wilmslow Express goes round|our track
{13588}{13691}and that, of course, means handing|it over to our tame racing driver.
{13691}{13823}Some say|that his discharge is luminous...
{13882}{13996}..and that even as we speak he is|appearing on the main stage
{13996}{14116}at Glastonbury performing his most|famous hit, Superstition.
{14187}{14256}All we know is he's called The Stig.
{14295}{14435}He's off! Note the flags there,|Stig displaying his support|for the Norwegian football team.
{14435}{14545}I tried to explain they aren't|actually in the World Cup,|but this made him very angry.
{14545}{14639}Here he is, first corner,|looking nice.
{14639}{14677}Yes!
{14744}{14801}Interestingly, he's the only|person in the world who
{14801}{14885}likes the sound of the vuvuzela,|because he invented it!
{14885}{14981}There he is, round Chicago,|very tidy for a big car.
{14981}{15047}Now, Hammerhead.|This should be astonishing.
{15093}{15175}Oh no, it's exploded!|It's rolled end over end!
{15175}{15247}This is incredible!|But Stig's out of the wreckage!
{15247}{15331}He's dodging the naked waitresses|and...he's on fire!
{15331}{15370}He's now coming up to Gambon.
{15370}{15457}No, no! He's taking his helmet off!
{15457}{15509}It's her! Right round the tiger!
{15509}{15642}He's just a shaken hands with Elvis|and there he is, across the line!
{15642}{15806}I don't believe that, the most|exciting thing I've ever seen and|some idiot at Television Centre
{15806}{15888}cut to an advertisement for|a stupid little Korean hatchback.
{15888}{16014}It's a good job ITV didn't cover|the moon landings. 10 foot.
{16014}{16064}Five foot. 
{16064}{16144}# If you like a lot of chocolate|on your biscuit... #
{16144}{16213}Anyway, I have the time
{16213}{16362}and it did|it in 1:24.9, which puts it there.
{16362}{16441}And that's not bad,|really, for a small moon.
{16441}{16566}Anyway, now we must turn our|attention to the Icelandic volcano|because although it went on
{16566}{16674}to become global news, the actual|eruption itself started out quite
{16674}{16827}small and that got us wondering how|close could you get to it in a car.
{16828}{16945}Now, obviously, this was a job for|a rugged, outdoorsy sort of chap.
{16945}{17015}Unfortunately,|Jeremy was on holiday,
{17015}{17060}so James went.
{17226}{17325}It's very hard to drive across|Iceland at the best of times.
{17394}{17474}But luckily I had|just the vehicle for the job.
{17474}{17635}This looks exactly like|the Toyota that Jeremy and I
{17635}{17692}drove to the North Pole.
{17692}{17761}More to the point, this has been to|the North Pole with us,
{17761}{17862}but you never saw it|and it never got any of the glory
{17862}{17963}because it was the one driven|by the camera crew.
{17963}{18140}After we got back from the Pole|our car went off to a museum whereas|this one was just left to rot.
{18140}{18257}Today, though, I'm going|to bring it back to life|and give it one more mission.
{18367}{18495}Wow, I never actually thought|I'd be so pleased to see|one of these again.
{18495}{18541}This really brings it all back,
{18541}{18687}the ice going on and on forever,|the boulder field|going on and on forever.
{18687}{18744}I can hear Jeremy|going on and on forever.
{18779}{18836}Oh, God...
{18891}{19014}No matter, my job is|to turn this into the world's|first volcano-proof car,
{19014}{19081}which means a visit to Emil,
{19081}{19215}the 4x4 genius who built it|in the first place.
{19215}{19284}I mean, what are the unique|risks to volcano driving,
{19284}{19372}apart from obviously being consumed|by molten lava and burnt to a crisp?
{19372}{19423}It depends on how close|you want to get.
{19423}{19504}Very close. As far as I can work out|no-one's ever actually driven
{19504}{19622}right up to the mouth of an active|volcano in a car, so it's another|Top Gear first if we can do it.
{19622}{19663}Yeah.
{19663}{19783}Some people claim you can walk on|hot coals if you wet the bottom
{19783}{19871}of your feet and I was just|wondering, if there was some system
{19871}{20008}of continuously wetti...
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