Gini Graham Scott - Survival guide for working with humans - Dealing with Whiners, Back-Stabbers, Know-It-Alls, and Other Difficult People.pdf

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A Survival Guide for Working With Humans : Dealing With Whiners, Back-stabbers, Know-it-alls, and Other Difficult People
Survival
Guide for
Working
with
Humans
Dealing with Whiners, Back-Stabbers,
Know-It-Alls, and Other Difficult People
GINI GRAHAM SCOTT, PH.D.
AMERICAN MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATION
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A
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AMACOM, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY
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This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to
the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged
in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert
assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Scott, Gini Graham.
A survival guide for working with humans : dealing with whiners,
back-stabbers, know-it-alls, and other difficult people / Gini Graham
Scott.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-8144-7205-2
1. Conflict management. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Interpersonal
conflict. I. Title.
HD42.S358 2004
650.1
3—dc22
2003020908
© 2004 Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole
or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without the prior written permission of AMACOM, a division of American Man-
agement Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
Printing number
10987654321
′
Contents
Acknowledgments ........................................................................ v
Introduction ................................................................................. 1
I. An Aggressive Species
1. When Sweet Revenge Isn’t So Sweet ............................................ 7
2. Watch Out for the Eggshells ........................................................ 12
3. Don’t Fight—Find Out! ............................................................... 16
4. When to Turn Down the Volume, or
Find Someone Else to Do It ......................................................... 21
5. When a Problem Spirals Out of Control ...................................... 26
6. Prepare for the Worst-Case Scenario............................................ 31
7. When Nothing Is the Best Solution.............................................. 39
8. Keep It Clear, Clear, Clear............................................................ 44
II. Political Animals
9. Choosing Your Battles .................................................................. 51
10. Watch Out for Confidences.......................................................... 55
11. When You’re Not in the Family.................................................... 59
12. Dealing with Unearned Praise...................................................... 64
13. The Blame Game .......................................................................... 68
14. Besting the Betrayer...................................................................... 75
III. Ethical Dilemmas
15. Don’t Let Them “Ethics” You ....................................................... 83
16. When Somebody Wants to Change the Rules.............................. 88
17. When There’s a Betrayer in the Group ......................................... 93
- iii /
 
iv
a SURVIVAL GUIDE for WORKING with HUMANS
18. Finders Keepers—Or Not?............................................................ 99
19. Fraud Happens ............................................................................. 105
IV. People Who Ask Too Much
20. The Great Communicator—Not!................................................. 113
21. Learning to Let ’Em Go: The Demanding Client ......................... 117
22. The Give-and-Take Paradox......................................................... 121
23. When Nothing Seems to Work, It’s Time to Go Legal ................. 126
24. Passing the Responsibility Buck................................................... 131
25. Get Out While You Can ............................................................... 137
26. When Help Turns into Help!!!—Get Me Out of This.................. 145
V. Capturing and Keeping the Job
27. Beating the Recommendation Game ............................................ 153
28. Knowing When to Back Off:
Don’t Push a Negotiation Too Far ................................................ 158
29. What to Do When Everything Seems to Be Going Wrong........... 163
30. When to Keep Your Cards to Yourself.......................................... 167
31. Watch Out for Warning Signs ...................................................... 172
32. Don’t Resign Yourself— Redesign Yourself .................................... 179
33. Be a Problem Solver—Theirs, Not Yours ..................................... 183
34. Dealing with the Boss from Hell .................................................. 187
VI. Putting It Together
35. Mastering Your Survival Skills ..................................................... 195
36. What’s Your Survival Quotient? A Self-Assessment Quiz ............ 206
Index ............................................................................................ 211
About the Author ......................................................................... 216
 

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