Evan.Almighty.RETAIL.DVDRip.XviD-DiAMOND.EN.MicroDVD.txt

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{1607}{1645}And that's the news.
{1647}{1767}But before we sign off, we'd like|to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter,
{1769}{1860}who has just been elected|Buffalo's representative to Congress.
{1862}{1894}And, now, we have a surprise for Evan.
{1895}{1933}No, you don't.|We do.
{1934}{2003}Oh, no. I really didn't expect this.
{2005}{2058}Here's a look back at his run for office.
{2122}{2150}What are we gonna do?
{2152}{2186}Change the world!
{2188}{2213}That's right!
{2387}{2436}Baxter! Baxter! Baxter!
{2602}{2627}Hi.
{2629}{2662}Baxter! Baxter!
{2663}{2698}That's right!
{2806}{2907}I feel like that old Indian|in front of all the garbage.
{2942}{3062}So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter|for Eyewitness News. Good night.
{3460}{3537}Huntsville, Virginia.|Prestige Crest, four miles.
{3539}{3576}What did we do before GPS?
{3578}{3602}Nothing.
{3604}{3657}Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car.
{3658}{3769}Hey, I am proud of my new car.|Look, I'm a politician now.
{3771}{3841}I'm in the public eye, and as you know,|when you are in the public eye,
{3842}{3882}image is everything, isn't it?
{4002}{4071}Here it is! Welcome to the good life.
{4073}{4154}Hey, guys, why the long faces?|We're off on a new adventure!
{4178}{4229}It's just we're going to miss our friends.
{4231}{4275}You'll make new friends, better friends.
{4277}{4305}Yeah, richer friends.
{4307}{4399}Do not mouth off to me, sir.|I am the boss of you.
{4401}{4463}And let me tell you something,|you guys are gonna love this place.
{4477}{4553}And you know what? I think there's|something for our fishermen up there.
{4581}{4655}Baxter family,|this is what's called a scenic vista.
{4657}{4749}And I don't think the big man himself|could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh?
{4751}{4794}Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater|for 28 minutes.
{4796}{4821}What's that?
{4822}{4865}And a shrimp's heart is in its head.|Really?
{4867}{4921}Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet|for one lifetime.
{4922}{4969}Yeah, let's head out! Come on.|The best is yet to come!
{5011}{5077}Gentlemen, I have saved|the best for last.
{5079}{5164}Look over to the right.|That is your new home.
{5314}{5339}Whoa!
{5341}{5369}That's our house?
{5371}{5421}Uh-huh.|I don't remember it being|this big in the brochure.
{5422}{5453}Was it this big in the brochure?
{5455}{5485}Pretty amazing, isn't it?
{5487}{5525}There they are!
{5562}{5613}Is this curb appeal or what?
{5614}{5651}Here we go!
{5653}{5689}Honey, I think you're blocking my photo.
{5691}{5716}Sorry.
{5718}{5765}All right, everybody! Say "Escrow"!
{5766}{5811}Escrow!
{5840}{5903}Come on. Come on. Come on.|Come on. Go. Go. Go.
{5918}{5964}Guys, easy.
{6024}{6051}This is our house?
{6053}{6077}Uh-huh.
{6098}{6126}Careful!
{6128}{6173}- Honey, be careful!|- Watch it!
{6174}{6202}Are you kidding me?
{6204}{6233}- Mom, can we go upstairs?|- Yep.
{6235}{6269}And I get my own room, right?|Yep.
{6306}{6367}Mr. Baxter, could you give us some|direction on these kitchen cabinets?
{6369}{6393}Sure.
{6394}{6504}Okay, it's between your maple|and your old-growth Brazilian cherry.
{6506}{6550}That is nice! Which is best?
{6552}{6625}Well, if you're not sensitive|to that "save the rainforest" stuff,
{6627}{6663}you can't beat the Brazilian cherry.
{6665}{6692}It's 200, 300 years old.
{6694}{6730}Three hundred years.|Three hundred.
{6732}{6769}Wow. That is old.
{6770}{6825}And now you are going to hold my dishes.
{6827}{6869}That's right. You going with the cherry?|Cheery cherry!
{6870}{6906}Yeah. Definitely.|He's going with the cherry!
{6936}{6961}Dad, look!
{6963}{6994}No, no, no!
{6996}{7055}Ryan, do not touch him, please!
{7057}{7094}Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away!
{7096}{7150}No. He might have lice, fleas,|maggots or something.
{7152}{7218}You do not play with stray dogs|because they are very...
{7220}{7276}No, no! Get away, get away! Go!
{7291}{7328}Okay. Oh, no, no, no.
{7330}{7364}He's thirsty.|No, no, no.
{7366}{7435}No, you don't! There we go.
{7437}{7476}Well, Ryan, he's a stray.
{7478}{7513}If we give him water,|he's just going to come back.
{7514}{7599}Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him?|I mean, we've got a new house.
{7601}{7648}Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him.
{7650}{7712}They are stinky. They are smelly.|They get hair all over the place.
{7714}{7743}They get a little thing called the mange.
{7745}{7817}In a nutshell, he is disgusting.|Case in point.
{7935}{8013}Ladies and gentlemen,|this concludes day one
{8015}{8053}of the Baxters' new and exciting Life.
{8055}{8110}I have to do the new house dance.
{8112}{8173}Wow! That dance?
{8174}{8212}Mmm-hmm.|That's a good new house dance.
{8214}{8243}Thank you.
{8245}{8297}You know, those boys were having|so much fun tonight,
{8299}{8346}I thought I would never get them to bed.
{8348}{8460}And then Ryan did the cutest thing.|He asked if we could all pray together.
{8472}{8533}Really? What did you pray about?
{8535}{8585}He met a dog. What do you think|he prayed for?
{8634}{8700}Just a walking petri dish, that dog.
{8702}{8754}And Jordan was very precise.
{8756}{8847}He prayed for good visibility, good weather|on the hiking trip tomorrow.
{8849}{8927}The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah.|The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
{8929}{8974}You wanna know what I prayed for?
{8976}{9022}Yeah. What did you pray for?
{9023}{9097}I prayed we would become closer|as a family.
{9126}{9233}Honey, you don't need to pray for that|to happen. I will make that happen.
{9270}{9310}What would you pray for?
{9312}{9373}Me? I don't know. Praying just...
{9419}{9511}Honey, you're the one who said|you wanted to change the world.
{9522}{9569}It's a pretty big job.
{9576}{9629}If it were me,|I would take all the help I could get.
{9763}{9838}Former Buffalo News|anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow
{9840}{9896}to make good on a Lofty campaign promise.
{9898}{9925}What are we going to do?
{9927}{9957}Change the world!
{9959}{10042}Good Luck, Congressman.|Many have tried, many have failed.
{10044}{10073}Hello!
{10074}{10120}This is Regina Sparks reporting for...
{10538}{10581}Hello, there. Hi.
{10608}{10664}This is Evan Baxter.
{10702}{10761}Just wanted to say thank you for everything.
{10762}{10854}Thank you for the new car and for the house.
{10856}{10926}The house is great. I love it.
{10942}{11056}I mean, I picked it out,|but you created matter and everything, so...
{11133}{11224}I just wanted to say that I think|Joan makes a good point,
{11226}{11334}and that I am now in a position|of great power,
{11336}{11429}and I know that with great power|comes great responsibility.
{11480}{11532}So, God,
{11624}{11682}Please help me change the world.
{11729}{11797}Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now.
{11819}{11878}God bless... Well, you. Okay.
{12430}{12481}What? That's weird.
{12482}{12508}What?
{12510}{12548}I set the alarm for 7:00.
{13368}{13416}I am successful. I am powerful.|I am handsome.
{13418}{13481}I am happy, successful,|powerful, handsome, happy.
{13508}{13635}All right, everyone, wish me luck.|The Congressman has left the building.
{13637}{13752}All right, Baxter brood, I will see you|later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes?
{13754}{13782}You psyched? Are you ready?
{13784}{13809}Yeah.
{13810}{13841}Bye. See you.|Good luck, honey.
{13842}{13870}Bye, guys!|See you later.
{13872}{13896}Later, gator.
{13945}{13976}Oh, gosh.
{13978}{14043}Wow. Honey, did you order anything?
{14057}{14103}"Alpha and Omega Hardware"?
{14105}{14128}Never heard of them.
{14130}{14158}Me either.
{14176}{14217}What do we have?
{14251}{14287}What is this stuff?
{14326}{14362}Must have the wrong address.
{14374}{14429}Yup. The wrong address.
{14494}{14542}Congressman Baxter. Good morning.|Good morning.
{14543}{14579}Good morning, Congressman|Baxter. Hello.
{14581}{14639}Good morning, Congressman|Baxter. Good morning.
{14641}{14713}Oh, this is so cool.
{14763}{14788}Uh-huh.
{14790}{14833}Yeah. This'll work.
{14834}{14929}There he is! The head honcho.|The big kahuna.
{14931}{14978}Rita, I think I have to do the dance.
{14979}{15007}Do the dance.
{15094}{15125}That's enough of the dance.
{15126}{15178}Oh, this is nice! This is really nice!
{15180}{15243}This is too nice.|There's something crooked going on.
{15245}{15274}Do you smell anthrax?
{15276}{15322}Congressman!|Hey, Marty!
{15323}{15358}Nice sound to that.|I like it.
{15359}{15383}Here they are!
{15412}{15437}All right.
{15438}{15481}You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael.
{15482}{15547}I don't think you know the new kid|Eugene Tennanbaum. I found him at G.W.
{15549}{15624}Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this.|How many stars on the flag in 1818?
{15626}{15649}15.
{15651}{15698}And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits?
{15699}{15773}He likes a morning latte with a cruller,|a decaf espresso after lunch,
{15774}{15813}served sans pastry of any kind.
{15815}{15879}Very impressive. A little freaky,|but I like this kid.
{15886}{15919}I love you.
{15942}{15966}Hmm?
{15979}{16062}I mean, we should hang out socially.|I just got a ping-pong table.
{16064}{16101}Not going to happen.
{16102}{16181}Go find out where his license plates are.|Everybody else, back to your holes.
{16182}{16207}He was actually right.
{16209}{16252}I'm doing a background check on that kid.
{16257}{16366}Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office,|to remind you of the mission!
{16368}{16402}"Change the world!"
{16404}{16445}Okay, Evan, who do you know?|What do you mean?
{16447}{16495}Oh, come on.|Yesterday we're in the basement.
{16497}{16541}Today, look at this place.|It's like the Emerald City!
{16542}{16621}"Enjoy your office.|Your neighbor, Congressman Long."
{16622}{16677}Congressman Long did this?|Did you say "neighbor"?
{16679}{16746}That's r...
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