A Change of Pace.docx

Title: A Change of Pace Part 1
Pairing: Asami x Akihito
Rating: PG-13

The scratches were itching furiously. Sweat was running down his back, stinging every place that the bark had scraped when he'd climbed the tree. He'd just had to get some close-ups. At least he'd been smart enough not to try it from the ground.

He watched the pride of lions lazing about a little below and off to the side. He tried not to wiggle too much. The last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself. So far they hadn't noticed him, and he had gotten some great photos. He couldn't wait to get back to camp to develop them.

Fathers and Sons: A Photographic Exploration. He and his father had been working on it for eight months now, traveling across continents, taking pictures of men and beasts, of the modern and the ancient, whatever they thought best expressed the concept. They wanted a wealth of ideas and photos to draw from for this book. Most wouldn't make it in, but he knew there were some that were gold, and already expressing his heart on the subject. He was hoping to find some similar pictures among his father's choices. They had never been close, but this trip seemed to be bringing them to a better understanding of one another.

He shifted slightly on his perch. It wasn't that uncomfortable, as far as branches went. He snorted softly. A little too much time up in trees lately Aki? This would be a three star branch. Nice view but needs a breeze and a shower. He peered down, watching a lioness drag something that was until recently living toward the group. Needs room service too. But he wouldn't be getting down from here until they came to pick him up, and that was a good two hours away.

He wondered how his father was doing on the south side of the park. Surely a herd of elephants would be easy to find. They're not so small that you could easily misplace them. If anyone could get the shots, his dad could. He had such a single minded devotion to his purpose. In all his life, short though it was, Akihito had never seen anyone come close to the dedication to his work that his father had. A familiar pair of eyes flashed through his thoughts. Except one other.

A mild sadness put a damper on his good mood. He was tempted to grab his sat-phone and call home, but now wasn't exactly a good time. He couldn't believe he was worried about the man, but he hadn't expected to be left completely alone like this. There was something wrong, for that to have happened.

Although, maybe Asami had been bored with him too. Maybe he had moved on to other things.

Nah, he couldn't see the stubborn bastard breaking his habits that easily. He'd remained unchanged for six years. Why would he change now? But there had been no word.

At first, he'd jumped every time the phone rang, causing concerned glances and then questions from his father. Those were awkward, and in the end he refused to explain himself, causing an uncomfortable silence between them for a little while. That had passed though. His father wasn't inclined to be chatty, and soon dropped all questions.

But Akihito remained uneasy. As the months passed, and he still hadn't heard anything from the man, it started to genuinely worry him. It didn't mean he wanted to be with Asami. He couldn't help it if he still cared a little.

He kept tabs on Tokyo through his internet connection, when it was available. And of course, he was always talking to Kou and Takato. He had just spoken to them two weeks ago. He grinned. How many guys IM'd their friends from a tent in the Sahara via satellite? Kou had really believed that he was partying in a sultan's harem, the idiot. Takato had been pretty quiet that night. He knew of Akihito's interest in Asami, and had promised to watch for news concerning him, yet he had reported nothing.

He sighed and wiped his forearm across his face. Doing it again, eh? Worrying when he doesn't give a damn about you.

Bored. That's what he'd told Asami. And he had been, with some of it. But it was more than that. It went deeper, to a hurt come from years of his love being met with coldness. He'd been tired of never knowing his worth, beyond that of a pet who was useful for warming a bed. What the hell is so wrong with expressing yourself? Yet Asami kept that damned mask up year after year.

And yet there were times he found himself still yearning for the man. Three nights ago, sitting out under the Tanzanian stars because he couldn't sleep, taking himself in his hand to gain some release, the only fantasy he could imagine was Asami. But not as he was. Asami as he could be. Domineering but with love in his eyes.

After he'd wiped his hands clean, he'd crawled back into his tent and cried himself to sleep, because he knew by now it was a futile dream. That was the only thing that kept him from calling the man just to talk. That, and pride.

Still, would little phone call really hurt? Just to make sure he hadn't been killed? That would be too obvious though. If Asami was fine, he'd be too damned self-satisfied if Akihito called him. He needed a better excuse. But what could he possibly say?

He banged his head back against the bark of the tree in frustration, then swore loudly when it hurt more than he'd expected. He swore again when several of the lions looked his way and got up to see what the commotion was. Fuck! They couldn't climb trees, right?

He grabbed his satellite phone and called camp.

"Uh, guys? Do lions consider skinny Japanese men to be something of a delicacy? Because they seem to be looking at me like I was a plate of chicken wings."

He was packing his gear away with one hand.

"What do you mean, what did I do? I made a little noise. It was a mistake. Now I need a little help. How soon can you get here?"

He slung the knapsack over his shoulder and stood on the branch. Glancing up, he saw that the branches above were easily reachable.

"I'm climbing higher up this tree. They don't climb right? Right?"

The answer sent him scrambling.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me these lions climbed trees?! Godammit, that's the kind of thing you should be bringing up in our planning meetings. You know "Takaba, your plan is good only if you want to be eaten.". Shit, I can't climb one-handed. I'm hanging up. Get your asses back here now!"

He disconnected and stuck the phone back in his pack then climbed swiftly, as high as he could go. He hoped that with his light weight he could get higher than the heavier lions could, and that they'd give up the chase. The tree shuddered as one of the lionesses jumped into the lowest branches.

His arms ached from the strain of jerking him up as quickly as possible. The branches were getting very slim now, and starting to bend a bit. He was going to have to stop soon, or risk crashing down among all the lions on the ground. He was over 50 feet up. He could still feel the tree shaking as the animal below sought a path up the tree.

He peered below. It was getting harder to see in the dusk, but it didn't look like she was making headway. There was one gap in the branches that seemed like it was too far for her to jump, but Akihito's nimble body and adrenalin had let him make the jump easily. She paced back and forth on a limb below the gap.

Akihito sat gingerly on one of the thin tree limbs, then tied his knapsack to a nearby branch and got more comfortable. It looked like he'd be stuck there for a while.

God damned Asami. It was all this fault as usual. He at least should hear that before Akihito was killed.

He pulled the phone out of the bag, switched it on, and acquired the satellite signal. Then he punched in a familiar number and waited.

"This is Asami."

"You son of a bitch. Even halfway around the world you manage to put my ass into danger."

Funny how technology could make him feel the cold in Asami's voice from thousands of miles away as if he stood next to him. "Akihito. How pleasant to hear from you. Are you on a satellite phone? All the way from Tanzania. I'm flattered."

He shivered. Of course he'd been watched. He should have known. "Yeah. A satellite phone. From the top of a tree. About to get eaten. And it's all your fault!"

"Like the UFOs, hmm?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Though I wouldn't be surprised if there were an alien attack and it was your fault too!"

"Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not drunk! I'm stuck at the top of a tree at Lake Manyara waiting for a lion to climb the rest of the way up here and eat me and I wouldn't be if it weren't for you!"

"And it's my fault how?"

He hadn't really wanted to get into the why of it. "Because I... Because you... It's just is."

"I see. Lions can climb trees?"

"Apparently they can. Evidently only the ones at this particular park like to, but it slipped the minds of my guides when I told them my plans. Would you like to speak to the lion when she arrives? I have the feeling the two of you have a lot in common."

"Well we both certainly would enjoy eating you."

"Oh shut up."

"Akihito, I don't suppose you brought a gun along."

"Of course not! I don't want to hurt them."

"I have the feeling your opinion about that will be changing rapidly in a few minutes. What do you have with you?"

"Water. My photographic equipment. A towel. You should never leave home without a towel."

"I'll remember that. Wipe her jaws clean after she takes a bite out of you. Now, what will you give me I wonder, to save your ass?"

"You're bargaining. Right now. With my life on the line."

"Yes, did you expect me to give information away? Do you remember to whom you're speaking?"

He sighed. "What do you want?"

"Hmm. How about emails, daily. I'm bored and I wish to be entertained. A travelogue, with pictures if they're available."

"Why the hell would you want that? Besides, I don't have time to write you every day! Once a week."

The tree shook heavily and Akihito looked down in fear. Dammit, the lioness had made the leap over her head to the branch that would give her access to the upper part of the tree. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Asami took up the bargaining. "Three times."

He didn't want to, but his options were gone. "Twice."

"Done. Now get out your camera."

"What? I don't have time to be snapping –"

"Turn your flash on, and make sure it's set to full."

Akihito froze. Would something so simple work? He stuck the phone in his pack, picked the camera up, and quickly adjusted the setup and pointed it down the tree. He took the time to focus. His adrenalin made his hands shake. These could be great shots. If he could get them and scare her off at the same time...

He pressed his finger and the flash went off.

The lioness snarled and drew back. But she only stopped for a moment. He started taking pictures rapidly, watching her. She knew there was nothing to fear from the light. But he saw the signs that he was looking for, the slipping feet, the slight loss of balance.

She gathered her muscles for the next leap and came off the branch towards him. He shot again, watching through the viewfinder, hoping to every god in the book that Asami knew what he was talking about. She flew toward him, claws outstretched and sailed right under his branch, missing it by a good two feet, crashing through the weak surrounding tree limbs that couldn't hold her weight. He had seen her eyes as she leapt. The flash had blinded her, and she missed the prey she had thought was within reach. He heard the thud far below as she hit the hard earth.

Akihito, trembling slightly now that the danger had passed, gently set his camera in his lap and leaned against the tree for support. He took a few deep breaths and picked the phone up again. "She... she missed me. She was coming straight at me but she missed me and fell. I'll be damned. You're a real MacGyver, aren't you?"

He heard a long sigh, as if a held breath had been released, then a nonchalant voice. "Oh, did it work?"

"Did it –???" he sputtered. The stress and adrenalin and the completely unbelievable nature of the situation took their toll. He started laughing helplessly. "You still haven't changed, have you?"

"Haven't I? Well, you would know."

Headlights appeared in the distance. The truck was barreling across the plains toward his tree. The lions were milling about, uncertain, but it looked like they were going to leave.

"My ride is here. I have to go." He paused. "Listen, Asami... Thank you."

"Just remember to keep your end of the deal."

"You don't have to tell me that! I won't forget. Bastard. Goodbye!"

He snapped the phone off, and shoved it into his pack. What the hell had he gotten himself into this time? Well, a deal was a deal. The man had saved his life after all. And it's not like he could do anything to him via email except maybe irritate him. And he could be irritating back.

He smiled and got ready to give his employees the lecture of a lifetime.


--


A world away, Asami set the phone back on his nightstand and slid down between the soft sheets of his bed. He lay there on his back, hands locked behind his head, and stared at the plain white ceiling.

That had been unexpected. Of course it was. It was one of the traits he most appreciated in Akihito, one of the reasons he'd chosen him above all others to be his lover. He'd never been bored with him. It had stung to hear the reverse wasn't true. That he'd become predictable. He'd thrown lovers away for that very thing, and Akihito had done the same to him. As much as it had angered him, he couldn't blame him, really.

But now he'd been given an opening. Or rather, he'd made one for himself. And this time, he mused, Akihito might be in for a surprise of his own.

His sleep that night was easier than it had been in months. Eight months.

Title: A Change of Pace part 2
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG-13 (language)

Note: I've been trying to figure out how to post these next parts, and I think I'll do it in small chunks, one for each set of emails. It just makes more sense to me that way, since that's how they see them too.

The angsty prequel, Part 1




Dear As...shole,

He backspaced.

Dear Person Who Made My Life a Living Hell,

Delete delete delete.

Dear Sexy Bastard,

No, that would only give him a swelled head.

He stared at the blank page. What the hell was he supposed to write to the man?

Dear Person who Stopped to Bargain when my Life was in Danger Thank You Very Much:

That one had a certain ring to it. He left it.

Here's your email. I have no idea what you want to hear about. The weather is nice, wish you were here. Not.

The weather sucks. What do you expect from the North African desert? It's incredibly hot, and to make things worse, these Berbers think it's obscene for men to show any part of their bodies, so we're swathed in dark robes. And people think Japanese baths are hot. I'd give anything to be naked in a cool swimming pool.

He stared at that last. He didn't want to give anyone any ideas.

DON'T GET ANY IDEAS FROM THAT!!!


---


The walls seemed to lean forward in disbelief. Their owner was sitting back at his desk and softly laughing, a sound rarely heard in their confines. The aforesaid man bent again toward his computer screen and continued reading.

The people here are nice. Actually, they've been pretty nice wherever we've gone. Unlike certain clubs in Tokyo. Most people are a little shy or distrustful at first, and these are no exception. But when we explain what we're doing, they all want to be a part of it. They're so poor Ryuichi. It's painful to see people living on so little. And yet they're so willing to share it, and they're so happy. I've seen it time and again.

It makes me wonder, sometimes, about where happiness comes from. Doesn't it seem like some people carry it around inside them? What do you think they know that we don't? I mean, look at you. You have everything you've ever wanted to achieve, right? But I've never seen a genuine smile on your face. Lots of smirks, sure. But never a sign that you were happy.

I keep taking pictures, thinking that the secret might be revealed someday. If it is, I'll let you in on it. For all your assholiness, you have saved me several times, and if I could repay it with anything, happiness would be my choice. Maybe then at least you'd understand why I wanted it for us so badly.

Damn, that's getting mushy. Ah well, I'll leave it in. Maybe it will give you something to think about.

OK, enough about that. I ask myself, what would Asami Ryuichi like to hear about the Berbers? They have no money so they can't buy his guns and drugs. But they might be a source of loyal thugs if he gave them some money. The government here is totally corrupt. I'm betting you know people in it already, and so don't need any other contacts in this country.

Speaking of contacts, who are you talking to about me anyway btw? How did you know where I was? That's annoying. Don't you have any concept of privacy? You'd better not be bugging my friends. Are you?

I've attached some pictures from my Adventure with the Lion. I thought you might like to see the sharp pointy teeth you helped save me from. And yes, she was really that close.

Thank you, Ryuichi. Really. You know, what I said a few months ago, when we last saw one another... Sometimes its good too when things don't change. I may not like *why* you have saved me in the past. And sometimes I didn't like *how* you did it. And I sure didn't like that you had to in the first place. But I'm always grateful you took the time to do it. You've always been someone I could count on. And that's one thing I hope never changes about you.

Aw crap, why does letter writing make me sappy? And with you of all people. I must be getting tired of having no one to talk to. Dad's been pretty busy lately, and there's only one other person around who knows Japanese. So don't think it's anything personal! You're just coming in handy.

That's all for now. I'm hungry. I hope they aren't serving boiled goat again. Nothing sucks more than that, except those damned candies you hand out at Sion.

Some travelogue. Well I suppose if you don't like it I'll hear about it.

I'll send another in a few days.

Not yours, truly,

Akihito


--


Dear Akihito,

Thank you so much for your very intriguing description of North African life. All I can say is that you won't be getting airtime on the Travel Channel anytime soon.

In response to your oh so polite inquiries:

1. Happiness comes from getting what you want. Ergo, I am happy. One doesn't have to smile like a drunken loon on New Year's Eve to prove it. Those people you are with who are happy, they just have what they want. They probably don't care about the same things we do. That's why you don't understand them, and you don't understand me. If you want to be happy, Akihito, figure out what it is that you want.

2. Yes, I have contacts in that government. If you need any assistance, you can have it. Did you hear the "for a price" following that statement? I'm sure you did. You're so very intuitive.

3. I couldn't care less about your friends. I simply follow your money. That tells me exactly what I need to know. May I ask why you were purchasing so much vaseline three weeks ago? I understand wanting some for recreational purposes, but a gallon of it seems excessive. Do remember not to use that with the latex style dildos.

4. You're welcome.


I can't wait to see what you have planned for the next installment. Really, I mean that.

Your only reader, and that's likely to remain unchanged for years to come,
Asami



--



Dear Asami,

Bite me.

Sincerely,

Akihito



--


Dear Akihito,

Any time. Make sure you have a towel handy for when I do.

Asami


--


Akihito sat alone on his cot in the light of a Coleman lantern and laughed. He shut down his laptop and put it away. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he could get to know Asami as a friend, something he hadn't been allowed before. That might be something he'd enjoy. Maybe that was what he wanted.

As he lay back on his cot and switched off the light, he thought about what Asami had written. Eight months ago he would have said he knew what he wanted. When he walked away, he thought it was toward that. He had been happy on this trip with his father. It was a chance he'd always dreamed of, traveling, visiting all these places, and using his skills to capture all of it in his pictures. But he'd been lonely, in a way that his father and his friends couldn't help.

He didn't want to get back into it with Asami. The pain wasn't fresh any more, but he still remembered it. He wasn't going to fall into that trap again.

But it felt so good to be talking to him.

He rolled onto his side with a sigh and hugged his pillow.

Asami was right. He had to figure out what he wanted.

Title: A Change of Pace part 3
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG-13 (language)

Note: The next update might take a little longer. One letter is giving me headaches.

Old stuff:
The angsty prequel, Part 1, Part 2






Dear Person who is Not Exactly the Delight of my Life,


Sorry this is a little late. It took a couple more days than we expected to get to Cairo. Sometimes this traveling gets tiring, you know? It would be nice just to stay put for a few weeks. I'm feeling the need to photograph the fathers and sons on the beaches of the Côte d'Azur, if you know what I mean.

You never go on vacation, do you? Don't you ever just want to get away? I get the feeling you're like those rats in that psychology experiment though. You know, the ones who got so used to the adrenaline of a fast paced life they couldn't live without it? That reminds me of you. And not just because of the rat part.

So anyway we're in Egypt. Have you ever been here, Asami? It's so beautiful! Just like out of the movies. We saw the pyramids today, and we'll be going down to Abu Simbel and Luxor starting tomorrow. This is so amazing. We have some old stuff in Japan, but nothing like this. It's strange, you know, to see things that men made thousands of years before Japan was really any kind of country at all. Did you ever find yourself standing somewhere and feel a connection with the past? Like you could feel all the people who had stood there before? It's weird when you realize that they were a lot like you and me.

Dad told me a poem while we were looking at some of the monuments. It was written by an English guy, but he translated it for me. It was about a king who was really powerful in his day and age, and how all that was left of him was one broken statue in the desert. He spent his life chasing power, and he left nothing behind that anyone remembers him for now.

I don't know if I should say this, but it reminded me of you. All that fighting to be at the top... Is it really worth it when the day after you die it all starts to crumble, and one hundred years from now no one remembers anything about it? Maybe you should just take some time to relax and enjoy things before it's too late. I mean, it's something you have to decide for yourself, and you've probably thought about it before, but I figured a friend would say something.

Anyway... I've enclosed photos of the pyramids. The guy in the third one is my Dad. I'll tell you about him sometime. He's a good guy, but not great at being a father. That's OK. I'm kind of old for that. It's nice just to get to know him.

I also included some pictures of the locals. You may find some people you know among them because some of them look like criminals.

I'm getting kind of tired, and we have to get up before dawn tomorrow to catch our flight. I'll write as soon as I can.

Think about what I said, OK?


Akihito



--



Dear Akihito,


Ozymandius, by Shelley, is the poem you're referring to. It's very famous. I learned it in high school. It's supposed to teach us to disparage temporal power. It didn't work with me. Of course power is worthless after death. But power is everything before that.

I've found that those who vilify power are those without it who really want more of it. This Shelley, a Romantic poet, had very little of it. Will his poem last any longer than Ozymandius' monument? Maybe, maybe not. Someday though, it too will be forgotten.

Do you think that mattered to him, while he was writing it? I doubt it. It was probably something he needed to do, regardless of the consequences, as my actions are for me. I really couldn't care what people say about what I do, one, one hundred, or one million years in the future. People can speak of me or not. I'll do what I'm driven to.

Just because something is fleeting, Akihito, is no reason not to enjoy it while you can. Quite the opposite, I'd say. I'm very much a believer of seizing the moment. Surely you've realized that. I enjoy pleasure, and see no reason not to take it when the opportunity offers itself, because the chance probably won't come again.

What I want, on my deathbed, is to never once have thought "Oh I should have...". A minute after death, it won't matter. But before, I'll keep reaching for everything I want. And I'll get it. Because I have power.

I'm not sure you'll understand this. I know that power is something you look down upon, probably because you don't realize how much power of your own you have. And yet you do nothing with it except run away. Maybe that's powerful in and of itself.

And maybe that, Akihito, is something you should think about.

Yours, etc,

Asami


--



Dear Asami,


I'm leaving in a few minutes but checked my email and saw your reply.

I just wanted to tell you, I'll think about it.


Akihito


PS – You didn't answer the rest of my questions. This letter writing stuff works when people answer each other's questions. Didn't that business degree teach you anything?

PPS – You really surprised me with this... I'll write you when I get back.


--


Akihito printed the email out to take with him, then read it time and again between the photo shoots at the ancient monuments. It was creased and dirty from having been carried so far in his pockets.

Sitting on a cliff in the Valley of the Kings in the warm morning sun, he again pulled the paper out. He thought it an appropriate place to be considering his ex-lover's words. After all, Asami carried himself like royalty. He read through it again, his brow creasing.

Was he throwing away chances? He'd jumped at the one to work with his father. But really, had that just been a convenient reason to run away, as Asami said? He thought of what he did more as walking away. He'd not been frightened, just fed up and ready to move on. This trip made the perfect excuse though.

He wasn't sure what would have happened if his father hadn't called him with the offer.

But as for power... What kind of power did Asami think he had? He had none. He commanded no one, had little money. He had control over his own life. But that couldn't have been what Asami was implying. Damn the man, for once they were almost communicating and he had to be cryptic.

"Akihito!" A small figure was waving at him from the floor of the valley. "They're ready to take us into the tomb!"

He folded the paper back up and stuck it into his jeans, then shrugged his shoulders. He'd think about it more tonight, when he had time. He was spending too much time considering Asami these days when his mind should be on other things. Knapsack in hand, he headed down to join his father as they descended into the tombs of kings.



--


Dear Akihito,


I'm glad to hear you're considering my words. I'll mark the event on my calendar.

Thank you for bringing to my attention the fact that I failed to answer several of your questions in my last response. You really should teach a course in correspondence etiquette. Your understanding of it is unlike any I've ever encountered.

I do hope you won't deduct points if I don't answer these in the order asked.

Have I been to Egypt?

Yes, I have, several times. I drove out to the Pyramids one morning while I was in Cairo, just to see what the fuss was about. I'll admit I had thoughts not unlike yours. Old things tend to do that to people. But the tombs were impressive. I contemplated arranging to have Sion bronzed and made into my tomb after my death, but upon reflection decided that was far too tacky, which is really the most unforgivable sin of all.


Have I felt a connection with the past?

Oh of course. Without doubt I'm the reincarnation of that fellow Job from the Bible. God didn't punish me enough in that life, so he brought me back and gave me you.

Seriously Akihito, I'm Japanese, just like you. I was brought up to revere tradition and family, just like you. It didn't really stick for the most part, but that's another story. But I'm a firm believer in learning from the mistakes of those who have gone before. Men haven't changed all that much since the dawn of our species, except to lose some hair and gain some height.


Do I get tired of traveling?

Who doesn't? At least my accommodations will always be first class, and not the kind of hovels you're probably staying in.


Don't I ever want to take a vacation?

Why would I want to sit around and do nothing? Oh, should I be reading between the lines? Would you like me to sweep you away to a week of bliss along the French seacoast? I could be persuaded...what's that pesky phrase? Ah, "for a price". Figure out what it is, and you'll have your weeks in paradise.


Am I a rat in a maze?

You're referring to the Calhoun experiment? The results of that are hardly surprising to anyone who has lived in a city. We are, when it comes down to it, just animals. And I've found, recently, that there are pieces of cheese that even I will press the lever for. What do you think those might be, Akihito?


Do I know any of the criminals in your pictures?

What I find interesting is that you gravitate towards such people. You seem to feel at home with them. Not unlike certain rats. What does that say about you?


I believe those are all your questions. Now you have several of your own to answer.


Your father is very attractive. How old is he? Ask him if he'd like to have dinner with me sometime. We could share stories about you. And other things.


Sincerely, and I really do mean that,

Asami


--


Asami hit send, then relaxed back against the soft leather of his couch and stared at the computer screen.

How long will it take, Akihito, for you to open your eyes?

Title: A Change of Pace part 4
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG-13 (language)

Notes: Well I lied. Here it is on schedule. The problem letter wrote itself fine, once I let Asami say what he wanted to.^^

Old stuff:
The angsty prequel, Part 1, ...