{1}{72}movie info: 23,976fps|/SubEdit b.3945 (http://subedit.prv.pl)/ {832}{943}{y:i}A girl will never forget|{y:i}the first boy she likes. {999}{1079}{y:i}Even if things don't quite work out. {1110}{1142}Why did you do that? {1151}{1196}Because you smell like dog poo. {1200}{1266}You're so stupid, just like dog poo. {1270}{1304}You're made out of poo! {1331}{1416}{y:i}But usually someone is there|{y:i}to offer words of wisdom. {1420}{1450}Made... {1454}{1487}...of... {1497}{1530}...dog... {1534}{1566}...poo. {1570}{1601}Honey... {1605}{1731}...do you know why that little boy|did those things and said those things? {1735}{1779}It's because he likes you. {1795}{1836}{y:i}And there it is. {1840}{1903}{y:i}That's the beginning of our problem. {1927}{2055}That little boy is doing those terrible things|because he's got a crush on you. {2059}{2091}{y:i}Do you know|what this means? {2095}{2122}{y:i}We're all encouraged... {2126}{2154}{y:i}... no, programmed... {2158}{2219}{y:i}... to believe that if a guy|{y:i}acts like a total jerk... {2223}{2282}{y:i}... that means he likes you. {2344}{2404}Here's the problem:|He likes you too much. {2408}{2453}You're too pretty and too awesome. {2457}{2507}- Yes.|- He can't handle it. {2564}{2630}That Phi Delt so obviously liked you. {2634}{2687}I'm sure he just lost your number. {2724}{2834}He's not asking you out because he's|intimidated by your professional success. {3071}{3164}Trust me. It's because he's just|getting out of a serious relationship. {3178}{3264}Trust me. It's because he's never had|a serious relationship. {3565}{3612}{y:i}Why do we say this stuff|to each other? {3624}{3699}{y:i}Is it possible that it's because|{y:i}we're too scared... {3704}{3780}{y:i}... and it's too hard to say|{y:i}the one obvious truth... {3784}{3856}{y:i}... that's staring everyone in the face? {4260}{4309}So Janine says|you're a real-estate agent. {4313}{4367}Yeah, but I'm not|one of those cheesy ones... {4371}{4441}...that puts my headshots on bus benches|and grocery carts. {4445}{4501}So just, like, Frisbees and notepads? {4505}{4530}Basically. {4534}{4580}- It's much classier.|- My thoughts exactly. {4669}{4732}Wonder why Janine never thought|to introduce us before. {4736}{4779}I don't know. I don't know. {4783}{4856}- Hey, guys. Want another round?|- You want one more? {4884}{5008}Only if you do. I mean,|if you need to get going, I totally... {5040}{5068}Uh... {5084}{5135}Okay, well... {5172}{5211}Sure. One more. Ketel and soda? {5232}{5271}And a beer, please. {5275}{5320}Be right back. {5343}{5439}Well, Conor, I had a really nice time.|- It was really nice meeting you. {5457}{5502}- Bye.|- See you. {5700}{5724}Hey, it's me. {5728}{5787}He's cute, and I think it went well. {5791}{5900}And I think he might be leaving me|a message at home as we speak. {5904}{6002}Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know|I was thinking about you. {6016}{6076}Oh, that's very sweet of you,|Conor. Thanks. {6080}{6152}Listen, I was wondering if you|wanted to grab a late bite. {6175}{6217}Tonight? I... {6221}{6319}No, I was supposed to meet friends|but I'm burnt out. Don't be mad at me. {6323}{6386}{y:i}No, of course, I'm not mad.|{y:i}Well, I'll be up for a while. {6390}{6436}- Do you wanna go ahead of me?|- {y:i}I'll be up. {6440}{6470}- Oh, can you hold on?|- {y:i}Okay. {6474}{6527}No, that's fine.|You just have one thing, so... {6531}{6574}No, technically I have six... {6578}{6663}...and I'm mulling over a gum purchase,|so I think you should go. {6668}{6700}Okay. {6704}{6735}Let me call you right back. {6739}{6763}{y:i}All right. Okay. {6768}{6808}- Hi.|- Hey. {6812}{6864}Just that and that, please. {6868}{6912}Thank you. {7016}{7048}Oh, my word. {7092}{7127}Seriously? That's not possible. {7131}{7203}I just deposited cash three days ago,|so it's just not possible. {7208}{7275}Oh, it's not that.|Let me check something. {7294}{7327}Congratulations, you won. {7351}{7375}What? {7380}{7477}Our Funky Fall promotion.|You're our 1000th customer this month. {7481}{7519}What? {7650}{7682}Are you kidding me? {7698}{7738}I don't do kidding. {7763}{7830}Oh, my God.|I can't believe this, it's so exciting. {7850}{7932}Oh, my God.|I never won anything before. {7936}{8019}This is the most exciting thing|that ever happened to me. Is that sad? {8039}{8093}Yea-- No.|I don't think so. {8097}{8155}- Really?|- Yes. {8159}{8208}Thank you! Come here. {8244}{8268}Wow. {8334}{8384}{y:i}...as the Terps move|{y:i}to mid-ice, trying to... {8388}{8432}- Hey.|- Hey. {8436}{8508}- How was the date?|- It was fine. Whatever. {8512}{8559}- Why are you here?|- My cable's out. {8563}{8643}Come on, Spiewak,|it's not the Ice Capades. {8647}{8713}You didn't hear the phone ring|by any chance, did you? {8717}{8773}- No, I didn't.|- Shit. {8777}{8842}Anna gave me the old,|"I'll call you right back." {8846}{8895}Oh, shit, yeah? Well, how long ago? {8900}{8990}That was 22 minutes ago. {9000}{9035}Do I call back? {9040}{9090}Should you call back? No, absolutely not. {9120}{9178}I'm gonna call back|and say I'm going to bed. {9182}{9248}What? No. It's 9:30.|You're gonna--? {9252}{9280}No, it's a great idea. {9284}{9357}I'll call and say, "In case you were|gonna call me back, don't... {9361}{9412}...because I'll be sleeping."|A genius idea. {9416}{9447}Okay, no,|that's brilliant. {9451}{9527}When you wake up you can say, "I'm awake|now, I'm available to take your call." {9565}{9605}Oh, gosh. A second. {9609}{9668}- Sorry about that.|- It's all right. {9682}{9723}I was-- {9728}{9771}Wait, what was I saying again? {9781}{9846}You don't wanna be like your mother,|wake up one morning... {9850}{9896}...and realize|you never pursued your dreams. {9900}{9931}Is that what I was saying? {9935}{9974}- You want some gum?|- No, thank you. {9978}{10070}God, that's kind of heavy|for a grocery chat. {10074}{10127}- No, that's okay.|- Isn't it? {10132}{10190}- Sorry.|- I actually might be able to help. {10194}{10296}Yeah, I know a guy at my office|who deals exclusively with music clients. {10300}{10327}- Are you kidding?|- Uh-uh. {10331}{10371}Oh, my God. {10375}{10430}- Are you my savior or something?|- No. {10434}{10502}- Can you hold this for a second?|- Yeah. {10536}{10579}Oh, this is so unexpected. {10860}{10899}Okay... {10903}{10927}I don't... {10937}{10984}I'm married. {11008}{11039}I don't do this. {11044}{11123}You don't do what?|You don't help struggling singers? {11168}{11296}Not hot yoga-instructing singers... {11307}{11369}...who are incredibly charming. {11429}{11473}Hm. {11490}{11566}Well, you could--|You could give me your card. {11570}{11628}That's legit, right? Is that allowed? {11632}{11658}I could do that. {11662}{11704}- Yeah.|- That'd be okay, right? {11708}{11748}Yeah. {11806}{11838}Great, thank you so much. {11842}{11883}Course. Do you need help to your car? {11888}{11942}- Where'd you park?|- No, I'm fine. It's okay. {11978}{12024}- It was very nice to meet you.|- Yeah. {12028}{12067}Okay. {12352}{12382}Who was that? {12400}{12511}- Oh, that was a prospective client.|- Oh. {12528}{12566}Okay. {12604}{12667}I can talk to a woman.|It doesn't have to be like that. {12671}{12716}No. Absolutely not. {12745}{12799}- Just drive.|- Relax. {13243}{13300}- Hi.|- Hi. {13304}{13356}- How you doing?|- Good. {13360}{13432}- Yeah?|- Yeah. I just got off the phone. {13436}{13484}- Yeah?|- Yeah, with my little sister. {13488}{13558}- How's she doing?|- She's getting married. {13571}{13604}Really? {13608}{13642}Yeah. {13646}{13673}Great. {13677}{13711}You really think that's great? {13715}{13753}Yeah. {13757}{13808}Devon seems like... {13812}{13854}...a great guy. {13916}{13995}Well, so you think it's great|that they're getting married... {13999}{14129}...but you don't ever feel like|we're going against nature, or something... {14133}{14189}...by not getting married? {14228}{14254}No. {14268}{14384}Going against nature|is like the cat who suckled that monkey. {14388}{14491}You and I are just two people|who happen not to be married. {14500}{14580}Let me tell you something. People|who get married are not to be trusted. {14584}{14637}You are so weird. {14641}{14671}They're not. You know why? {14675}{14740}Because if you are so legitimately happy,|honestly... {14744}{14809}...you wouldn't feel the need|to make a big show out of it. {14813}{14854}You wouldn't have to broadcast it. {14858}{14900}They do it because they're insecure... {14904}{14982}...and they think getting married's|what they're supposed to be doing. {14986}{15047}So they're lying to themselves|and to other people. {15052}{15083}Seriously. {15088}{15168}Think about you and your friends.|Okay? {15172}{15225}These women you have|great relationships with... {15229}{15298}...you're close to them,|some of them you've known for years. {15302}{15336}But you don't feel the need... {15340}{15471}...to write a $45 check to the state|of Maryland for a friendship certificate. {15475}{15515}- Yeah. No, I get that.|- Right? {15519}{15592}Why should it be any different,|you know, with me and you? {15596}{15683}We're very happy, I love you,|I'm committed to you... {15687}{15740}...we have a great life, you know? {15744}{15769}Yes, you're right. {15773}{15847}Why can't we just be happy? {15852}{15891}You're right. {15896}{15958}- I'm gonna get you some more tea.|- Okay. {16152}{16203}{y:i}Please enter your pass-- {16208}{16244}{y:i}You have no messages. {16248}{16294}{y:i}Main menu.|To send a message-- {16367}{16438}Okay, so clearly he hasn't called. {16443}{16486}Maybe he's away on business. {16490}{16563}He sells real estate. In Baltimore. {16567}{16623}- Staying in town is his business.|- Right. {16627}{16668}Well, look, let me tell you. {16672}{16763}After I went out with Ben for the first|time, he didn'...
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