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Baby Blues - (sequel to House of the Rising sun)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5545933/1/
Prologue
BPOV
I rubbed at my face and then looked back at myself in the mirror. My heart was
racing. What was I to do?
I chewed on my nail, the anxiety getting to me. You would think it would be
something I was use to by now. Edward's surrounded me often enough and I
handled it.
But this was something different. It was my anxiety and I knew I was going to
have a whole new battle on my hands with his on this one.
I looked down at the little plastic stick.
Positive
Positive
My legs gave way and I fell to the floor.
It was unexpected. It certainly hadn't been planned.
I hadn't even given a second thought to how it would affect me. My worry was
Edward.
How would he handle this? His emotions still gave me whiplash. Even after all
these years together.
He could break me with his cruel words in seconds when his grey cloud comes
over. And that was over nothing. How was he going to react to his piece of news?
How was Edward supposed to handle a baby when he acted like on himself thirty
percent of the time?
I had to tell him, as much as I wanted to put it off, it would only make things
worse. I wanted to run and tell Alice or Rose but I knew I had to tell him first. His
reaction would not be good if he ever found out he was second to hear the news.
"Bella, will you hurry the hell up." He rattled the bathroom door and I rolled my
eyes at him.
"I'll just be a minute." I promised.
Reaching for the handle I knew what I had to do. It was bound to be emotional
carnage but he had to know.
He had to know.
I was just worried what reaction I would get out of him today.
Chapter 1
EPOV
You know those moments in life, the ones that everything feels just so right? That
it finally all somehow just clicked into place. The one where blues are bluer, pinks
are pinker and love…well, ain't it grand.
That's how it was. Everything had some how clicked into place in this crazy life.
Bella, well she was the love of my life, adorable at worst. She made my life spin
on its axis just like it should and without her I would have been bouncing along
aimlessly and alone.
Work was incredible, my residency had only flourished. I loved it. Taking
something and fixing it, beyond normal human comprehension. Working along
side my farther was great too, he never eased up on me and I thanked him for
the same treatment he gave to the others. No favouritism and the others noticed,
so I was accepted.
I remembered the day I took the step forward. The real day I saw that this was
all somehow achievable. It was on my day of graduation. I didn't want to go up,
in front of that crowd, but Bella knew it was the only thing stopping me. If I
crossed that hurdle, life would get easier, and it did. The moment I collected my
certificate, I knew I could stand in the hospital and give orders and direct
accordingly.
Ok, there were times when life was bad, it got dark and that cloud followed me
around but I worked through those times. I hadn't had any ill effects at all in the
past month and I knew as I got older that I would eventually grow out of it, this
horrible condition that had plagued my life. I could see that day getting closer
and I couldn't wait. I knew there would be still very small bouts of it every so
often when I was older but all I could see was that cloud disappearing, never to
hinder me again.
My emotional state was the best it had ever been and everything in life seemed
easy.
I knew there would yet to be years until it passed over, but I could see beyond
that now. Four weeks it had been since I raised my voice to Bella and four weeks
it had been since I last seen the sad look in her eyes that I gave her. I loved her;
I just couldn't help it.
But right now, standing in front of the very mirror that I stood in front of the
morning of graduation, in the apartment that Bella and I had made our home, life
seemed achievable.
I heard her sweet small laugh behind me and looking in the mirror behind me I
seen her, Bella.
Her smile was wide and her eyes sparkled. "Well, well. Don't you look
handsome." She told me in a mock southern accent not to dissimilar form
Jaspers.
I turned around, looking her up and down. She was beautiful. "Well I could say
the same about you, but handsome just doesn't cut it." I told her seriously.
"Aww, when did you become so cheesy." She taunted as she poked at my chest.
Reaching down I kissed her firmly on the lips. "For you, I have only ever been
cheesy."
She blushed that glorious shade of pink I loved so much and tried to cover her
face.
"Come on we need to be going and I need to finish my make up." She rested her
hands on my chest, pushing me backwards, out the bathroom door.
"Like you need any of that." I told her honestly. But I let her win; turning my
back to her and heading back towards our bedroom.
"And don't be putting any of that crap on your lips." I called over my shoulder
before disappearing through the bedroom door with her laughter carrying down
the hall after me. I hated that damn stuff.
We still lived in the same apartment, the one that we moved into when we were
eighteen. We had been here for nine years but it felt like only yesterday when I
made love to her for the first time not long after we had moved in.
Alice and Jasper had moved out a few years ago, she wanted a new place to
decorate. They got engaged and Alice thought it was time we went our own way.
She only lived around the corner but in a sense, she was right. Alice and I stuck
side by side in life and it was time for us to part and be with the ones that really
needed us.
They got married three weeks ago and were only back off of honeymoon a few
days ago. Tonight we were going to Emmett and Rosalie's to see the happy
couple, tanned and fresh faced from there holiday in South America, somewhere.
Emmett was cooking but he was a pretty good cook. He had caused no food
poisoning that I knew of at least.
"Hey, handsome, you about ready?" Bella called to me from the edge of the door,
peeking around the corner. Her smile was still wide.
"I'll be right with you, love." I promised as I tied my last shoe lace up.
Running my hands though my hair haphazardly, I was ready to go and only a
step behind Bella.
"You're looking kinda pale, Alice." Bella told her. "You too Jasper." She was
teasing them. She tried to hide the smirk on her face knowing too well that the
pair no doubt never left there hotel room. They would have been as well staying
in Seattle for all of the effect the sun had on them when they had been away.
"Oh, please. I don't want to even think about it." Emmett grumbled as he took
another sip of beer from the bottle in front of him.
Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Bella and I were all waiting for Rose to get back home.
Emmett saying she must have got caught up at work.
"So did you have a good time? Did you bring pictures?" Bella rambled, glad to
have Alice back. She had mooched around the past three weeks at not seeing
her. She had Rose but the three of them were like some girly high school clique
and Alice was the ring leader, always pulling them into trouble.
"Yeh we had a good time," Jasper told her with a wide shit eating grin on his face.
It wasn't something I really needed to know. "But we never got many pictures
taken…not ones we would show you at least."
Leaning forward I let my forehead bounce off the table at the thought. Really
didn't need to know that.
I felt Bella's fingers run through the back of my hair, combing the ends. She
knew what this did to me and my particularly giddy mood only fuelled it. I wanted
her.
I always wanted her, even when I was drowning in self loathing and self doubt all
I wanted was to reach out for her and show myself she really was mine, like she
always promised.
I knew I still kept her back a lot, from myself at least. But she always fought me
on it and it was those times I knew she wasn't leaving me, not ever. Though as
always, self doubt always came niggling in my mind. What if one day she did
want to leave me? If she had enough. I would die; I knew that much was true.
But in this moment, perfect clarity in my head, I knew she was mine and that I
could have her.
No self doubt at present.
I would be making her mine later.
Sitting back up, I leaned into her, pulling her into me by her shoulder. I lay a line
of soft small kisses along her bare shoulder before I moved to the bottom of her
neck.
"Guys, really? Rosie won't be that long; you don't have to gnaw on her Ed."
Emmett told me off before I gave him the bird with a small snigger as he rolled
his eyes.
"I'm just keeping my girl happy." I told him, I still seemed to be floating on a
cloud of air.
"Yeh, just keep it clean in company, please." Emmett spoke again. Shaking his
had at me and tryin to keep the amused look of his face.
I couldn't help it. Life was good.
"So did you get that guy to fix that chapter yet?" Alice asked Bella, distracting her
attention away from my fingers that caressed her soft skin on the tops of her legs
below the table.
Bella had become a book editor after she left college and she loved it. There were
times she had to leave for a couple of days at a time but with my crazy hours at
the hospital, Bella's hours flexed along with mine perfectly, she actually worked
at home most of the time, so after a long day with patients, she would be there
waiting for me. I couldn't complain when she did have to leave, but I knew
sometimes I gave her hell for the job she loved. Though, I hadn't struggled with
that particular thought for a few months now.
Her odd nights away for her meetings with authors were the only time we were
apart at night. If it wasn't for those trips we wouldn't leave one another's side.
"No, not yet. I'm to fly out to D.C. next week to chase him again." She was
having a problem with one particular author, he had published a book, let the
fame – and the advanced cheque go to his head, now they couldn't get the
second book out of him. She had to fly to Vegas one time to chase him thought
seedy strip joints. That part I wasn't too happy about and I think for once, I was
entitled too.
"Sounds like more fun." She said sarcastically "I hope you get air miles, this guy
has had you through the ringer." Alice was totally right on that one.
I sipped on my beer bottle, still enjoying the odd drink with no ill effects.
Unfortunately over the years I had went back to it, abused the alcohol and my
system when I felt that life was just all wrong or too hard.
I was lucky though and never put myself back into hospital after the self abuse.
There had been a few more attacks due to illness that had put me in hospital and
I knew there would be more to come. I just had to deal with it when it happened.
"Oh where is Rose, I'm starving." Alice spoke again.
"She must have got caught up." Emmett told us as he stood up reaching for the
phone.
He called her but quickly cut off the connection. "Voice mail." He shrugged,
bewildered.
"Maybe her phone died." I told him, it was Rose; she was the most organised out
the lot of us. She marched though life giving orders. People were intimidated by
Emmett's stature and they were scared of Rosalie's work ethos. The four of us
knew better though, they were both teddy bears inside. Neither of them could
hurt a fly. Though I wouldn't want to get on Rose's bad side, I hear it's not nice.
"Maybe." He said but he wasn't focusing on the words, his mind was going into
overdrive wondering where she could be.
"Em, she'll be here soon, don't worry." I told him.
Alice looked at me suspiciously. "Who are you, and what have you done with my
brother?"
Bella laughed. "I know, he's been like that for the past two days."
"I'll have you know it's been four weeks and two days since I had an episode." I
stated firmly.
"Really?" Bella asked surprised, had she not noticed?
"Really?" Alice asked surprised too a moment later. "Is that the longest time?"
"Yep." I nodded firmly, the smile on my face strong.
"Wait? You think your growing out of it now?" Bella asked with her voice almost
singing her big brown eyes shining with hope.
"I don't know, but if it is, it's only the start. Don't get to ahead of yourself." As
happy as I felt, I couldn't let Bella get carried away. It would only devastate her
more when I decided it was time for my next screaming match. And time was
surely going to run out soon on that one. I knew it would be back and it had been
so long I knew it could be back before the night was out.

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