1 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,112 RADIO: <i>Silver Maid keeping ahead</i> <i>in front of Dasher and Boy Blue.</i> 2 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,232 <i>But the favourite, Red Dice,</i> <i>is now lengths behind. He's right out of it.</i> 3 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,199 <i>Inside the last furlong, and Dasher's taken it up!</i> <i>Moving through very smoothly.</i> 4 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:23,189 <i>Silver Maid hanging on to second place.</i> <i>And at the post, it's Dasher from Silver Maid...</i> 5 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,189 Well, did it win? 6 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,038 That nag should be going into hospital, not you! 7 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,150 Bad luck. I wonder who won the baby stakes. 8 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,029 Oh! 9 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,036 Supposing I'd been on it! (Tuts) 10 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,071 Ah! Where do I go? 11 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,152 - Hey! I can walk, you know. - Nobody walks in 'ere. 12 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,988 - Any chance of walking out? - We've got to do the job proper. 13 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,070 - Over here, Mr York. - <i>Right, nurse.</i> 14 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,237 - Thanks for the ride, boys. - Give us a write-up in the papers. 15 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,079 - Will you get into bed, please? - I um...didn't have time to get my pyjamas. 16 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,190 Oh, that's all right. You won't need any just now. 17 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,189 Thanks. 18 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,074 - What's he got, then, Mick? - Appendicitis. 19 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,997 Ten days' job. 20 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,110 Cor blimey! Only ten days. 21 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,159 When I think how easily that could have been avoided, I could kick myself, I tell you. 22 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,191 Did you hear what I said then? 23 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,191 I said I could kick myself! 24 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,191 Kick myself, with that on, I said! 25 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,159 I think that's very funny, Mick! Don't you, Mick? (Laughs raucously) 26 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,111 - Hello, Mick. - Hello, Mr Able. 27 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,072 - There you are. - What's that? A shroud? 28 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,111 No, an operating gown. 29 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,191 (Buzzer) 30 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,031 (Impatient buzzing) 31 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,229 Your turn. 32 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,189 Yes, Colonel? 33 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,028 I want to see that ward orderly chap - Mick. 34 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,117 You can't. It's our job to answer the buzzer, not his. 35 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:55,233 You've only been here half a day and you've called us a dozen times for no good reason. 36 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,028 Now, do try and remember the buzzer's only for emergencies. 37 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,230 - This is an emergency. - What kind of an emergency? 38 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,995 Every time Mick comes in here, he stays too long. I don't know what you find to talk about. 39 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:10,079 I dare say you don't. There's some things we men talk about it's better for women not to know. 40 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,192 - I can imagine that. - I doubt it, young lady. I doubt it. 41 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,117 Well, what do you want him for? 42 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,156 What can he do for you that I can't? Tell me that. 43 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,113 Ho-ho-ho! Don't tempt me, girl. Just tell Mick I want him, would you, please? 44 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,151 All right. Just this once. 45 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,992 (Knocking) 46 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,195 Ah, Mick, my boy. That's right, shut the door. 47 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,028 - Now then, dictation. Got your notebook? - Yes, sir. 48 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,071 Good. Here we are, then. 49 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,150 Bob each way, the Black Prince. 50 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,191 That's the 3:30 at Chepstow. 51 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,158 Black Prince, 3:30 at Chepstow. 52 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,078 Half a dollar to win, Rambler. 53 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,111 R-A-M-B-L-E-R. 54 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,032 Now that's the 4:15 at Redcar. 55 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,031 4:15, Redcar. 56 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,116 - That's all, I think. - Right, Colonel. 57 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,039 Well, you just settle down, Colonel. I'll wait for the results. 58 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,032 - Oh, get me 20 Player's, would you, please? - Yes, sir. 59 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,998 - Don't bother about that. - (Clears throat) 60 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,151 - Good afternoon. Name? - Oh. Good afternoon. York. Edward York. 61 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,988 - Address? - 24 Passiondale Avenue. 62 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,031 - Age? - 35. 63 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,235 - Occupation? - News...paper reporter. 64 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,198 - Relax. - I was covering the baby show. 65 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,117 - Next of kin? - No. 66 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,229 Religion? 67 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,070 Which lot has the best record of recovery? 68 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,071 I'm very busy. Come along, now. C of E? 69 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,111 - False teeth? - No. 70 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,189 - Glass eye? - No! 71 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,118 And before you go any further, the rest of me is my own! 72 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,072 Sign, please. Consent for general anaesthetic. 73 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,071 - Ooh! - Relax. 74 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,078 - Hello. I'm Mick. - Hi, Mick. 75 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,192 - What's her trouble? - Oh, night starvation. 76 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,031 - Going to shave you. - Shave? 77 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,071 My appendix isn't on my face! 78 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,071 I'm not going to shave your face! 79 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,031 (Impatient buzzing) 80 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,232 - Yes, Colonel? - I'm all crumby! 81 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,028 If you will stuff yourself with those crumbly biscuits... 82 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,071 Well, I have to have some pleasure, damn it. 83 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,031 Hop out and I'll take the crumbs away. 84 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,993 - Where's that fella Mick got to? - He's doing something for Sister. 85 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,075 Can I help? 86 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,078 Not unless you know what won the 4:15 at Redcar, you can't. 87 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,117 - Oh, you and your racing. All right, get in. - Thank you. 88 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,111 Oh, I wish you wouldn't eat those biscuits! 89 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,078 I eat biscuits, my girl, to calm my nerves. 90 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,111 Rambler won it. 3-1. 91 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,111 - Comfy now? - Yes. 92 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,111 Rambler, do you say? 93 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,032 Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha! Good old Rambler! 94 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,116 (Chuckles) Oh, we'll have a new one now. 95 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,071 - Ooph! - I warned you. 96 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,071 Thank you. 97 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,112 - Sister... - I'm not a sister, I'm a staff nurse. 98 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,111 Oh? How do I tell the difference? 99 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,072 Student nurses wear big hats. We call them butterflies. 100 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,031 - You call them what? - Butterflies. 101 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,189 -Ah, I like that. - They don't. 102 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,038 And staff nurses wear these. Got it? 103 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,076 Yes. I think you're wonderful. 104 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,236 Relax, Mr York. 105 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,111 Oh! 106 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,039 Nurse Dawson! Is it your intention to wreck my ward? 107 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,038 - Wh-who are you? - I'm a nurse. 108 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,031 You're in hospital, but you're all right. 109 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,031 (Sighs) 110 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,197 - Let's have a beer. - You can't have a beer, Mr York. 111 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,158 She'll give me a beer. I'll go... 112 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,189 Cor! 113 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,197 - Somebody stabbed me! - Lie still, you've got a drain in you. 114 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,113 Now that you've made my bed...you can lie on it! 115 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,190 - Mmm! - Why, Mr York! 116 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,231 Mr York! 117 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,037 Oh, I'm sorry, Staff. I was just trying to get Mr York to settle down. 118 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,111 - For life? - Lovely! 119 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,111 (Laughs deliriously) 120 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,990 When you're on ni...
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