Parenting Skills 101 by Vjgm.pdf

Parenting Skills 101 by vjgm

Summary:

Forks High is making the junior and senior classes pair up and be 'parents' and take care of a baby

doll. All the Cullens are in school still and taking the class. How will Charlie react when Bella and

Edward announce they're pregnant?

Rated: T - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32

Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Reviews: 6,849 - Updated: 11-07-07 - Published: 09-28-07 -

Complete - id:3808190

So here you go,my next attempt! I don't know how I will top my last story, Vampires in Vegas, but this

should get a chuckle or two. First chapter is a bit dry, just getting things set. Bear with me. And please

Review, review, review! It makes me write faster :) I'll do anything to get out of laundry...

For this story, all the Cullens and Bella are still in high school...

Chapter 1: Mondays

I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer is the owner of all these amazing characters.

BPOV

Monday morning. I hate Monday mornings. Another week of school, papers, tests, and teachers. I laid in

bed, refusing to get up, but then I realized if I didn't, as soon as Charlie left for work, Edward would be

downstairs waiting for me and if I wanted to steal a few minutes with him before school, I better get my

butt moving. With new found motivation, I threw off the covers and went to the bathroom to shower and

get ready for school.

My shower didn't take long, but I was still running behind. I hurried back to my room and was having a

clothing crisis when I heard a knock on the kitchen door downstairs. What was Edward doing? He never

came in before Charlie left for the morning. Something must be wrong. As I frantically searched my room

for my jeans, I heard Alice's sweet voice.

“Good morning Charlie. How are you today?”

“Fine Alice. You're here early. Where's Edward? Is he off camping again?” Charlie asked. More like he

wished! He better not be camping, he didn't say anything to me last night before I fell asleep in his arms.

“No, he's out in the car. I figured Bella may not be ready yet since we're early, so he decided to wait out

there. Do you mind if I go upstairs and hurry her up? We don't want to be late.” I heard Charlie say sure

and then he yelled “Bye, Bella, I'm leaving for work. Alice is on her way up!”

“Bye dad.” I yelled while scurrying to find clothes. I had only seconds until Alice walked in and took

command of dressing me for the day. Too late.

“Good morning sleepyhead! We thought you might decide to play hooky today. Did Edward keep you up

late?” she said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at her “I wish. No he was the perfect gentleman as always. That boy has such control,

it's down right irritating!” I sounded annoyed, but really I was just amazed by his stubborness. Him and

his rules...

Hands on my hips, I stood in front of my closet looking for something to wear. I had already wrestled

into my jeans, I just couldn't find a top I liked. “Help” was all I had to say and Alice jumped up, without a

second thought extended her hand into the closet and pulled out a shirt I had never seen before. “Wear

this, it's perfect.”

The shirt was a jersey, halter top with an empire waist so the bottom flowed nicely. It was black with a

wide, blue stripe up the middle. Part of me wondered if Alice came over when I was out with Edward and

just added clothes to my closet without me knowing. Where did she find these things?

As always, I put the shirt on and it looked fantastic. “Good choice Alice. You just saved me 10 minutes of

trying to decide what to wear. I'm ready now, let's go!”

With my sweater in hand, I grabbed my books, chugged a glass of Orange Juice and headed for the

door. I saw the Volvo in the the driveway parked next to my truck. Edward was sitting in the driver's seat

with the window down and the radio playing. When he saw me walking out of the house, he jumped out

of the car to open my door for me. “Good morning Bella. I'm glad you finally decided to join me.” He

leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

“Be happy Alice helped get me dressed or you'd still be waiting! I really am not in the mood for school

today.” Alice jumped in the back and I slid into the front seat.

“Oh Bella, I think today is going to be an extra exciting day at school.” Alice had that grin on her face and

a sing song tone to her voice which meant that she was in on some big secret that the rest of us were

probably going to hate.

Edward glanced back at her in his mirror “Care to let us in on it little psychic girl?”

Alice stuck her tongue out at him “No mister nosy I'm not. You will just have to wait and see like the rest

of them.” Her arms crossed against her chest and she huffed back into her seat. It was obvious she was

going to give up and more information, we'd find out soon enough.

The parking lot was full of cars already by the time we got there even with Edward's wild driving. Jasper

was standing next to Rosalie's car, waiting to walk Alice to homeroom. Emmett and Rosalie were, of

course, having a moment inside Rosalie's car. Edward laughed and walked over to the car. He tapped on

the window “Break it up you two. We're going to be late.”

Emmett scowled at Edward as he got out of the car, Rose took a second to fix her hair and then emerged

in all her glory. The bell rang, which caused people to start running for class. I leaned over and kissed

Edward “See you at lunch. I love you.”

“I love you too. Have a good day.” He let go of my hand and started walking toward building one. I

turned and headed in the opposite direction to building three.

Homeroom was just as boring as ever. We had to listen to announcements about how the school's

baseball teams did last night against the West Side Gophers. Hooray we won. Birthday wishes to

everyone born today blah, blah, blah. I had almost completely tuned the whole thing out when I heard

“We have a special announcement for the Junior and Senior classes. This morning, you will report to the

gym immediately after announcements for an important asembly. You will be excused from your first

period class so report to the gym, now please. Thank you.” Cheers went up throughout the classroom. All

twenty chairs scraped across the floor as we got up to leave.

I quickly ran to my locker and threw my books in there, I didn't feel like lugging them around the gym.

As I closed my locker door, Edward appeared from around the corner. His smile still blew me away. I

could look into his eyes all day. He leaned on the locker next to mine and said “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Come on, let's get to the gym. I don't want to get there late and be stuck in the front

row! Move it.” Understanding how bad it could be, he took my hand and led me to the gym. Angela and

Ben ran past us, and gave a quick wave. I'm sure they were trying to get a good seat too.

Alice was waiting outside the doors, and she looked ready to burst. Edward and I exchanged glances. We

knew whatever Alice was so excited about this morning was waiting on the other side of those doors. I

took a deep breath, “I told you I hated Mondays...”

Boring Chapter I know...stetting the stage... hang in there:)

_________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2: Parenting 101

I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer is the owner of all these amazing characters.

BPOV

“Come on you two, we saved you a seat!” Alice grabbed my arm and led me through the door. The

bleachers were filled with students who were all discussing what the reason for the assembly could

possibly be. What kind of torture were the faculty putting us through today.

Right on cue, Mr. Anderson the health teacher walked to the podium. “ladies and gentlemen. Hello? Can

you hear me? Please take a seat and quiet down, we are ready to begin.” the room slowly quieted except

for a few nervous giggles from the back row.

Mr. Anderson cleared his throat and began “The great State of Washington has mandated as part of the

health curriculum for your grades that we focus some time during this year on Sex Ed...” Emmett let out

a loud whistle that caused the gym to erupt in laughter. “Thank you Mr. Cullen for your support of Sex Ed

here at Forks High. As I was saying, we need to cover sex ed AND parenting skills. The Sex Ed portion

will be covered in your regular Health class. Right now, we wanted to present you with the requirements

for the parenting skills project.”

I looked at Edward and he was smiling. He obviously knew where this was going thanks to his mind

reading skills and was amused by it. “This should be interesting.” Was all he'd say.

There was a box on the floor, next to the podium. Mr. Anderson was reaching in and suddenly “WAAA,

WAAA, WAAA” came from the box. He pulled out his hand and in it was what appeared to be a crying

infant. “Congratulations you are all parents! You will be completing this project in pairs. I don't care who

your partner is and I will NOT take requests or ask someone if they will be your partner. Get up the guts

and go ask someone to be the mother of father of your baby before...” he mumbled something like “all

the good ones are gone.”

“Now, one person in the group, again I don't care who, boy or girl, must be the one to 'carry the baby'.

Decide this quickly, because I expect half of you to be 'pregnant' by the end of school today.” More

laughter and whistles, from of course, Emmett.

Jasper calmed the room so we could get through this before lunch. “Whoever is deemed 'pregnant' will

wear this.” He held up what looked like a stuffed belly and breasts. It had Velcro straps over the

shoulders and around the back. People started moaning and shaking their heads.

Annoyed, Mr. Anderson yelled “If you refuse to participate in any part of the project, Seniors, you will not

graduate and Juniors, you will have to do this all over again next year. Go with the flow people.”

The baby was back in his hand wailing. “On Friday of this week, the babies will arrive. You and your

partner will be responsible for this little person. There are sensors and computer chips in here that will

record data on how long you let the baby cry, how much sleep it got, when you fed it, if it took a fall

down a flight of stairs or was stuck in a drawer. If the baby tells us you were a bad parent, we will flunk

you so I repeat, be nice to your babies.”

People had stopped listening and were trying to get the attention of prospective partners. Edward hissed

to me, “Don't turn your head, just look straight ahead. Mike Newton is waving his arm like he's landing a

DC10 trying to get your attention. I think he wants to be your baby' s daddy.” He couldn't contain his

laughter as he finished the sentence. I froze, Oh God, it was the dance all over again. I closed my eyes

and put my hand to my forehead like I had a headache. “Good job, love. He sat back down but he'll try

again later...”

“you all have some homework for this evening. Are you listening?” he waited for everyone to quiet down.

“you're homework for tonight is to go home and with your partner, tell your parents you're pregnant.

Type up a one page paper about their reaction and how it made you feel. You may want to tell them it's

a project for school first...” But by that point on one was listening. Girls were grabbing their boyfriends

and making sure no other girls came near them.

I turned to look at Edward. He put his face an inch from mine, smiled and kissed me. “There, you're

pregnant.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know Edward, I was kind of hoping our first time would take a little bit longer than

that. Did you have to do it at vampire speed? I missed the whole thing!” I loved teasing him and

sometimes he just made it so darn easy!

“Very funny, I can't wait to see you in the Sympathy Belly, Bella” he shot back at me.

“Who said I was wearing the belly Edward? I'd love to see you out hunting in that this week!” If his face

could turn purple it would have. His fist were in balls at his sides and he was trying to stay calm.

I couldn't take it any longer “Don't be a baby, I'll wear the belly. But you're telling Charlie...” Edward

laughed at the though of Charlie's face. Emmett slapped him on the back. “OOHH Rosalie we get to tell

Carlisle we're pregnant! How fun!” Alice was going to love every minute of this project.

“Pick up your Sympathy Bellies after school. Now report to second period.”

Once again Edward and I had to go our separate way to class. “I'll see you in lunch Bella” He kissed my

forehead gently.

“Don't worry, I'll take good care of Little Eddie until lunch!” and I rubbed my belly for effect. I caught him

so off guard with the comment that he laughed out loud. The sound of his laugh gave me chills. He blew

me a kiss and was gone.

I ran to my locker, grabbed my book and started jogging down the long hall to Spanish. As i rounded the

corner, a broom closet door flew open in my face and out fell Emmett and Rosalie. They were all

disheveled, Emmett's and Rosalie's hair was sticking up in strange places.

“You two are taking this project way too seriously. And Emmett... your shirt is inside out!” I yelled over

my shoulder as I continued down the hall. I hoped I would make it to class without running into Alice and

Jasper next.

OK I have a busy weekend so don't expect too much from me. Here's a bit to see what you

think. Give me some reviews of the idea so far. You get the basic premise. Review Review

Review :) thanks

Chapter 3: Deja Vu

Thank you all for the reviews...I wok up this morning, and read them, and here I am! Hope you like it!

I own nothing Stephenie Meyer is the one true owner of these great characters.

BPOV

The door to the classroom was open so I slid in and fell into my seat only a minute late. The teacher

gave me a frown and continued with the lesson. Not many people were paying that much attention to the

lecture. I could see that there were a series of notes being passed back and forth between boys and

girls, I figured they were all to finding a partner for the health project.

I sank back into my seat and started laughing to myself. The picture of Emmett and Rosalie falling out of

the closet popped back into my head. Wait until Edward heard this one! I wonder what Alice and Jasper

did to celebrate becoming parents. A quick shudder shot through my body...

I felt a tap on my shoulder and a small wadded up piece of paper was being handed to me. On the

outside in really messy handwriting was my name. Slowly, I opened the note so the teacher wouldn't

hear the paper crackling. I flattened it out and began to read.

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