Born to be Mine by hidingfromsomeone.pdf

Born to be Mine by hidingfromsomeone

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5770627/1/

Chapter One

April 2009

Bella

I hoisted Harrison further up on my hip and scanned the packed airport for my

brother again. He had promised to be here. My baby was tired from screaming all

the way through the three-hour flight and I was too hot since I hadn't adequately

prepared for the California heat.

I missed the solitude of Whistler already, my little apartment that had been my

salvation while I healed. Six months there had changed my perspective on

everything; I had grieved for my husband and watched my baby grow from the

round, indistinguishable, gender-neutral state of childhood to the stage where he

was growing into a real person, my little boy. Every new thing that he did, words

he was learning and milestones that he reached just reminded me that these

were things his daddy would never get to see. But the mountain helped; leaving

Seattle I craved height. I wanted to get as close to Jake as I possibly could.

Finally my brother came into sight, battling through the crowd head and

shoulders taller than anyone else around him. I was hit with a punch of

homesickness as soon as I saw his familiar dark hair- too long, as always- his

dark eyes that were so much like mine, the little dent in his chin and the dimples

in his cheeks. My eyes filled with tears, he was right, it had been too long. He

rushed over to where I told him to meet me under the arrivals board… twenty-

three minutes ago.

"Bells," he said, sweeping Harrison and me up into his arms. "I'm so sorry.

Traffic…" I let him trail off and just enjoyed being protected by him again.

"I missed you," I sobbed quietly into his light cotton shirt.

"Oh, Bella, you should have come home months ago," he told me, setting me

back down on my feet and taking Harrison from me and swinging him into the air

to make him laugh and squeal. "You know Rose and I wanted you back."

"I know," I sniffled. "I just didn't think I could do it."

Just after the accident I was swamped with offers from people who wanted to

take us in. Jake's family who lived on the tiny reservation on the northwest coast,

my friends from Phoenix and more in Seattle, my brother and his wife in

California. But I couldn't handle the pitying looks and careful conversations about

'safe' topics that just made the hurt worse. So I did the only thing I'm ashamed

of in the past twenty-six years of my life; I ran away. Not far, only to Vancouver,

but I knew I needed to get away with Harrison somewhere they couldn't track me

down.

Emmett was so mad at me when he learned that I was gone. He was calling me

every night at that point, checking in to make sure I had done things such as

giving Harrison his medicine, feeding us both and changing the sheets on the

bed. The news that I had left Seattle came out by accident a week after I had

made the move. Emmett was threatening to come up and get me and drag me

back to his place so they could keep an eye on us both and make sure we were

doing okay when I mentioned that I wasn't at home any more. He demanded that

I tell him where I was, for the sake of his nephew, for the sake of Jacob's son but

I held strong. It was something I needed to do for myself; I needed to be alone.

Harrison was the only thing that kept me alive for those few days after we lost

Jacob. His little bright face met me each morning, looking absolutely nothing like

Jacob and reminding me of the battles Jake and I went through to get him. Jake

wouldn't want me to give up on our baby after everything so I kept going, for his

sake.

The decision to leave our home in Seattle felt like something I had to do. I

couldn't tell anyone before I decided to go, but I made sure everyone knew that I

was safe and just needed a bit of space. The plan was to go back to the town

where Jake and I had spent our honeymoon. We had always planned to bring

Harrison with us one day and I wanted to show it to him now. I had rented the

apartment on a weekly lease, it was a skier's lodge really, and the lady that ran it

didn't ask too many questions.

My best friend in Seattle, Angela, my angel, had packed up the house for me of

all of our stuff. She was the first person I called once I left to tell her what was

going on, and she said she would arrange for the place to be rented out so it

didn't sit empty for months. All of my things, all of Jake's things were locked

away in the loft where my nameless, faceless tenants couldn't get to them.

Unfortunately all of my warm-weather clothes were also in the loft so I was stuck

with the clothes I had been wearing all winter up a damn mountain where we saw

snow pretty much every day. I was in jeans and the one t-shirt I could feasibly

get away with wearing as a top layer and poor Harrison was in jeans and a

onesie, I had already taken his shirt off but he was still red and sticky and

unhappy.

It had been difficult to leave that apartment because I think I knew deep down

that I wouldn't go back to Whistler again. I had no photos; no mementos of my

time there and so much time had passed in a blur that I wondered if I would have

any real memories of the place. But, it was only a stopgap, and it was time to go

back to my family and start the healing process all over again.

When Emmett had asked yet again if I was ready to move home, I finally

relented and said yes. I think I surprised him at first, I had told him no so many

times by that point, I don't know if he ever expected me to be ready. Once I had

made the decision though, it was easy. I packed up everything I owned and had

it shipped down to California, and then got on a flight, with the aforementioned

screaming toddler.

Emmett led us out of the airport, swinging my heavy bag up onto his shoulder

like it weighed nothing. He had a massive Jeep that he had to help me up into

and there was a brand new car seat in the back for Harrison that made me tear

up again. Emmett was eight years older than me and growing up, he was like my

personal Hercules. There was nothing he couldn't do and when mom died I fell on

him hard. I thought that maybe losing my mother at such a young age would

have more adequately prepared me for losing my husband, but the pain came

from completely different sides of my heart, breaking it down piece by piece.

I had married Jacob when we were only 19, the same year that Emmett married

Rosalie although the two ceremonies were like night and day. Where me and

Jacob had a small, intimate ceremony with our closest family and a couple of

friends in a tiny church in La Push, Rose and Emmett got married on the beach at

sunset with nearly two hundred people present. My bridesmaid's dress for Rosalie

cost over three times what I had paid for my own wedding dress.

But Rose was another rock in my life. She was two years younger than Emmett

and in some ways had stepped into the 'mother' role in my life when I lost my

mom at 15; at the very least, she was my sister. Rose had daffodil-blonde hair

that hung straight down her back and big blue eyes that laughed more than mine

ever did. She had a heart-shaped face, a California tan and a ridiculously smoking

hot body, tall and lean. Despite all of this I never felt inferior next to her.

"How was the flight?" Emmett asked, as we pulled out of LAX.

"Hellish," I sighed and ran my hands over my face. I glanced into the back seat

where Harrison had promptly fallen asleep at the grumbling vibrations of the

Jeep. "I wish he could have done that on the damn plane."

Emmett laughed, a booming, happy sound. "That's kids for you," he chuckled.

"Speaking of," I elbowed him lightly, "When are you and Rosie going to make me

an aunt?"

He shrugged and blushed. "Not yet." he said carefully. "Being a mom was always

going to be right for you, but we have different priorities. But in the next few

years, definitely."

"You don't want to wait too long," I warned him. "Don't take it for granted."

"I won't," he vowed.

I watched the sunny landscape whiz past the window as we took the interstate

out of the airport to head to Emmett's home in Thousand Oaks. He was quiet,

allowing me to take everything in.

"I really missed you," I told him, leaning against the window so I could look at

him. "I probably didn't tell you that while I was gone, but I did."

"Where did you go, Bells?" he asked. Shit. I hadn't told him yet.

"Vancouver," I said in a small voice.

"Damn," he muttered and grinned at me. "I owe Rose twenty bucks. She said you

were there."

I was surprised; I thought my hiding place was solid. "Where did you think I

was?"

"I was betting on La Push," he said and shrugged. "I know you said you wanted

to be alone, but hell, Bella, you've never been an 'alone' sort of girl. The quiet

creeps you out, I know that."

"I wasn't alone," I said and glanced into the back seat where Harrison was still

sleeping.

"I can't believe how much he's grown," Emmett said and I felt guilty again.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Emmett said. I realized just why I loved my brother

so much; he doesn't hold a grudge. "Do you need anything before we head

home? There's a mall coming up in a couple of miles. Is Harrison okay for stuff?"

"I need clothes," I admitted. "I only have sweaters and layers and jeans. And the

poor kid has been so hot since we got here…"

"Okay, clothes shopping it is," Emmett said with overly false enthusiasm and I

laughed. "That's a nice sound to hear," Emmett said and took my hand over the

console. "I think you're going to like it here," he said as we pulled into the mall.

"It's going to be good for you."

I gasped as I stepped out of the car and the heat hit me like a brick wall. "Shit,

Emmett, it's been nearly a decade since I left Phoenix. It's hot!"

He laughed and went around to open the trunk of the car. "Get used to it baby!"

he teased. "I need your help," he called over the car.

I walked around to him and gasped when I saw the stroller folded up in the back.

A brand new, top of the line stroller. "Emmett you didn't have to get us

anything."

He shrugged. "I knew you didn't have one already. Consider it a welcome home

gift."

"Thank you," I said and pulled him down into another big hug.

"No worries," he told me. "But seriously, Bells, I have no idea how to operate this

thing."

"You think I do?" I told him. "I've never had to use one before!"

"But you're a mom," he said. "I thought they taught you how to do this stuff

when they give you the baby."

I shook my head at him. "I don't have a clue," I admitted. We must have made a

picture, me sweating my ass off in the heat, overdressed for the season in

freaking hiking boots and jeans. I was small, still, not really having grown since I

was sixteen. I knew my body sometimes betrayed me when people saw me with

a baby; I frequently got told I was too small to have carried a child. My boobs

were tiny, as were my waist and hips.

I had chopped my hair off to above my shoulders just after we got Harrison; it

was easier to keep it short while we rushed around after a newborn. But over the

past couple of years it had grown out again to the point where it nearly reached

to the middle of my back. I had braided it that morning but the stress of the

flight, coupled with the muggy heat, it was falling out and sticking to my face.

Emmett was over a head and shoulders taller than me but we looked like siblings.

If I could guess, I would say we were wearing very similar expressions as we

looked at the folded up stroller in the trunk, waiting for inspiration or something

like it to strike.

"Should we just pull it out and see what happens?" he said and I shrugged.

"You can give it a try," I said dubiously.

He lifted the metal, cloth and plastic contraption and dumped it on the asphalt.

"Now what?" he said. We stared at it for another few moments.

"Put it away," I said decisively. "I'll carry him."

"Here, let me take him," Emmett said as I gently coaxed Harrison awake.

Harrison was not impressed with being woken up from his nap and he started to

wail again as we walked across the parking lot, but calmed down when we got

inside the air-conditioned building. He was obviously going to need some

adjusting to the new climate.

I tried to fill Emmett in on what I had actually done for the last six months, telling

him about the babysitting job I had taken for one of the hotels. I could bring

Harrison to work with me and he played with the other children for a few hours

while their parents took advantage of the activities, or just as often the spa and

the bar.

Emmett seemed rather amused at my ability to pick up clothes and be able to

judge by sight whether or not it would fit Harrison, but I shrugged off his teasing.

I knew what size clothes he was wearing at the time were, so it was easy to see,

to my eyes anyway.

As soon as I was through in the kid's department we headed down to the

women's section where I had much more trouble trying to find things for myself.

Emmett seemed to be even more amused at my inability to pick clothes that

would fit me so I gave up quickly and just grabbed a handful of t-shirts and some

flip-flops.

"Don't you need more than that?" he said as I pushed the cart towards the

checkout.

"Probably," I agreed. "But I'll go shopping with Rosalie in a couple of days. You're

a terrible shopping buddy."

"I know," he said and gave me a light hip-bump that nearly knocked me off my

feet. I gave him one back as he tried to use his credit card to pay for it but I

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