Dear Tech Suppotr dowcip .doc

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Beer Drinking 5.0, Hunting and
Fishing 7.5, Horse Riding 4.1 and Golf 3.6 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run my favorite applications. I am thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem about which men are complaining. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is impossible to delete Wife
1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support". I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the
command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great
program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support program, such as as Clean and Sweat 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Pay Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag
Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife
1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
5.0!
WARNING!!! DO NOT under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support