{2634}{2705}Who are you?|We are three wise men. {2706}{2774}What?|We are three wise men. {2775}{2861}Well, what are you doing creeping around|a cow shed at 2:00 in the morning? {2863}{2928}That doesn't sound|very wise to me. {2930}{3009}We are astrologers.|We have come from the east. {3010}{3065}Is this some kind of joke? {3066}{3113}We wish to praise the infant. {3114}{3161}We must pay homage to him. {3163}{3243}Homage? You're drunk!|It's disgusting! {3245}{3341}Out the door! Out! Bashing me with|tales about Oriental fortunetellers. {3343}{3398}Come on, out!|No, no. We must see him. {3400}{3482}Go and praise someone else's brat.|We were led by a star. {3483}{3535}Led by a bottle,|more like. Go on out. {3537}{3587}We must see him.|We have brought presents. {3589}{3643}Out!|Gold, frankincense, myrrh. {3645}{3715}Well, why didn't you say?|He's over there. {3717}{3770}Sorry the place|is a bit of a mess. {3805}{3892}Well, what is myrrh anyway?|It is a valuable balm. {3893}{3992}A balm? What are you giving him|a balm for? It might bite him. {3994}{4070}What?|That's a dangerous animal. {4072}{4126}No, it isn't.|Yes, it is. {4127}{4193}It's great big and|No, it is an ointment. {4194}{4297}Well, there is an animal|called a balm... or did I dream it? {4298}{4379}So you're astrologers, are you?|Well, what is he, then? {4381}{4448}Hmm?|What star sign is he? {4449}{4555}Well, Capricorn.|Capricorn, eh? What are they like? {4557}{4617}He is the Son of God,|our Messiah. {4619}{4665}King of the Jews! {4667}{4746}That's Capricorn, is it?|No, that's just him. {4747}{4825}Oh, I was gonna say, otherwise|there would be a lot of them. {4827}{4904}By what name are you calling him?|Uh, Brian. {4905}{5018}We worship you, O Brian,|who are lord over us all. {5020}{5147}Praise unto you, Brian, and|to the Lord, our Father. Amen. {5149}{5199}You do a lot of this, then?|What? {5201}{5251}This praising.|No, no, no, no. {5253}{5324}Well, if you're|dropping by again, do pop in. {5326}{5389}And thanks a lot for|the gold and frankincense. {5390}{5474}But don't worry too much|about the myrrh next time, all right? {5476}{5534}Thank you.|Goodbye. {5578}{5634}Well, weren't they nice? {5636}{5717}Out of their bloody minds,|but still... Iook at that! {5718}{5777}Here! Here! {5779}{5876}That That's mine!|Hey, he's a baby! Oh! {6159}{6233}Shut up! {6421}{6482}" Brian " {6484}{6557}" The babe they called Brian " {6596}{6664}" He grew " {6666}{6744}" Grew, grew and grew " {6746}{6825}" Grew up to be " {6826}{6904}" Grew up to be " {6906}{6984}" A boy called Brian " {6986}{7061}" A boy called Brian " {7094}{7187}" He had arms and legs " {7189}{7267}" And hands and feet " {7269}{7328}" This boy " {7329}{7430}" Whose name was Brian " {7432}{7509}" And he grew " {7510}{7590}" Grew, grew and grew " {7592}{7662}" Grew up to be " {7663}{7742}" Yes, he grew up to be " {7744}{7825}" A teenager called Brian " {7826}{7918}" A teenager called Brian " {7920}{8000}" And his face became spotty " {8001}{8086}" Yes, his face became spotty " {8088}{8170}" And his voice|dropped down low " {8172}{8253}" And things started to grow " {8254}{8331}" On young Brian and show " {8333}{8424}" He was certainly no " {8426}{8506}" No girl named Brian " {8508}{8593}" Not a girl named Brian " {8783}{8853}" And he started to shave " {8854}{8918}" And have one off the wrist " {8920}{9011}" And want to see girls " {9013}{9099}" And go out and get pissed " {9101}{9178}" A man called Brian " {9180}{9261}" This man called Brian " {9262}{9450}" The man they called Brian " {9452}{9545}" This man called " {9546}{9767}" Bri " {9769}{9823}Aah! {10779}{10878}How blessed are those who know|that He's a god. {10880}{10989}How blessed are the sorrowful.|They shall find consolation. {11047}{11136}How blessed are those|of gentle spirit. {11138}{11210}They shall have the earth|for their possession. {11247}{11342}How blessed are those|who hunger and thirst... {11343}{11411}to see right prevail. {11413}{11475}They shall be satisfied. {11520}{11606}How blessed are those|whose hearts are pure. {11608}{11669}They shall see God. {11671}{11745}Speak up!|Shhh. Quiet, Mum. {11746}{11861}Well, I can't hear a thing.|Let's go to the stoning. {11862}{11931}Shhh!|We can go to a stoning anytime. {11933}{12017}Oh, come on, Brian.|Will you be quiet? {12018}{12071}Don't pick your nose. {12073}{12133}I wasn't picking my nose.|I was scratching. {12134}{12198}You was picking it|while you was talking to that lady. {12200}{12258}I wasn't.|Leave it alone. Give it a rest. {12260}{12323}Do you mind?|I can't hear a word he's saying. {12325}{12409}Don't you "do you mind" me!|I was talking to my husband. {12410}{12493}Well, go and talk to him somewhere else.|I can't hear a bloody thing. {12494}{12542}Don't you swear at my wife. {12544}{12621}I was only asking her to shut up so|we can hear what he's saying, Big Nose. {12622}{12706}Don't you call my husband "Big Nose".|Well, he has got a big nose. {12708}{12762}Could you be quiet, please?|What was that? {12764}{12820}I was too busy|talking to Big Nose. {12822}{12889}I think it was,|"Blessed are the cheese makers". {12891}{12963}What's so special|about the cheese makers? {12965}{13028}Well, obviously, it's not meant|to be taken literally. {13029}{13096}It refers to any manufacturers|of dairy products. {13098}{13166}See, if you hadn't been going on,|we'd have heard that, Big Nose. {13168}{13238}Hey! Say that once more,|I'll smash your bloody face in. {13240}{13320}Better keep listening. Might be a bit|about, "Blessed are the Big Noses". {13322}{13368}Oh, lay off him. {13369}{13419}Oh, you're not so bad|yourself, Conch Face. {13421}{13473}Where are you two from,|Nose City? {13474}{13545}One more time, mate, I'll|take you to fuckin' cleaners! {13546}{13627}Language!|And don't pick your nose. {13629}{13693}I wasn't gonna pick my nose.|I was gonna thump him! {13694}{13764}Hear that? "Blessed are the Greek".|The Greek? {13766}{13826}Well, apparently|he's going to inherit the earth. {13828}{13896}Did anyone catch his name?|You're not gonna thump anybody. {13897}{13965}I'll thump him|if he calls me "Big Nose" again. {13966}{14041}Oh, shut up, Big Nose.|Oh! Right. I warned you. {14042}{14133}I really will slug you so hard|Oh, it's the meek! {14134}{14203}"Blessed are the meek"!|Oh, that's nice, isn't it? {14205}{14276}I'm glad they're getting something,|'cause they have a hell of a time. {14277}{14366}Listen, I'm only telling the truth.|You have got a very big nose. {14368}{14482}Hey, your nose gonna be three foot wide|across your face when I'm finished! {14484}{14557}Shhh!|Who hit yours, then?|Goliath's big brother? {14558}{14613}Oh. Right.|That's your last warning. {14614}{14690}Oh, do pipe down. {14692}{14764}Silly bitch.|Get in the way on me. {14845}{14920}Oh, come on.|Let's go to the stoning. {14922}{14973}All right. {15026}{15125}Blessed is just about anyone with|a vested interest in the status quo. {15127}{15240}Well, what Jesus fails to appreciate|is it's the meek who are the problem. {15242}{15339}Yes, yes. Absolutely, Reg.|Yes, I see. {15341}{15446}Oh, come on, Brian. They're gonna|stone him before we get there. {15447}{15516}All right. {15517}{15592}That's disgusting. {15593}{15708}It's the chap with a big nose's fault.|He started it all. {15710}{15771}Oh, I hate wearing these beards. {15773}{15843}Why aren't women allowed|to go to stonings, Mum? {15845}{15896}It's written, that's why. {15898}{15939}Beard, madame? {15941}{16004}Oh, look, I haven't got time|to go to no stonings. {16006}{16052}He's not well again. {16054}{16105}Stone, sir? {16106}{16168}No, they got them up there,|lying around on the ground. {16170}{16227}Oh, not like these, sir.|Look at this. {16229}{16293}Feel the quality of that.|That's craftsmanship, sir. {16295}{16385}Well, all right. We'll have two|with points and a big, flat one. {16387}{16438}Can I have a flat one, Mum?|Shhh! {16440}{16486}Sorry. Dad.|All right. {16488}{16558}Two points, two flats|and a packet of gravel. {16560}{16617}Packet of gravel. Should be|a good one this afternoon. {16618}{16658}Who?|Local boy. {16660}{16701}Oh, good.|Enjoy yourselves. {17149}{17219}Matthias, son|of Deuteronomy of Gath? {17221}{17276}Do I say yes? Yes.|Yes. {17278}{17365}You have been found guilty|by the elders of the town... {17367}{17441}of uttering|the name of our Lord. {17442}{17534}And so as a blasphemer... {17536}{17601}you are to be stoned to death. {17603}{17683}Look, I'd had a lovely supper, {17685}{17736}and all I said to my wife was, {17737}{17803}"That piece of halibut|was good enough for Jehovah". {17805}{17881}Blasphemy! He said it again! {17883}{17945}Did you hear him? {18000}{18046}Really! {18116}{18169}Are there any women|here today? {18313}{18434}Very well. By virtue|of the authority vested in me {18436}{18509}Ow! Lay off!|We haven't started yet! {18511}{18585}Come on!|Who threw that? {18587}{18649}Who threw that stone?|Come on. {18650}{18701}She did! She did! {18703}{18753}He did! He did! {18755}{18809}Sorry. I thought|we'd started. {18811}{18889}Go to the back. {18890}{18980}Always one, isn't there?|Now, where were we? {18982}{19070}Look, I don't think it ought to be|blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah". {19072}{19171}You're only making it|worse for yourself. {19173}{19245}Making it worse?|How could it be worse? {19246}{19310}Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah! {19312}{19405}I'm warning you, if you say|"Jehovah" once more {19406}{19457}Right.|Who threw that? {19493}{19546}Come on.|Who threw that? {19597}{19649}Him, him, him. {19651}{19697}Was it you?|Yes. {19699}{19745}Right|Well, you did say "Jehovah". {19853}{19917}Stop! Will you stop that? {19919}{20037}Stop it! Now, look!|No one is to stone anyone... {20039}{20092}until I blow this whistle. {20094}{20202}Do...
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