Lesson 5
Introducing Perceptual positions:
Much of NLP involves looking at things in a different way to get a
different perspective. This enables us to understand other people's maps
of reality and to enrich our own. Thus we gain greater mutual
understanding, create rapport and achieve better communication, with all
its associated benefits.
You met the terms 'associated' and 'dissociated' in lesson 2. In an
associated experience you see through your own eyes and it feels like
actually experiencing the event yourself. In a dissociated experience you
see yourself as an external observer would. These two perspectives
represent subjective or objective ways of thinking about something. They
relate respectively to the first person ('I') and third person ('he, she,
them') forms of speech we use in everyday language. And we term these
different viewpoints perceptual positions.
PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS 1st, 2nd, 3rd and Nth:
You can look at any experience in at least three ways...
1st Perceptual Position
The first position, or 'associated viewpoint', represents your own
subjective point of view - 'How does this affect me?' When remembering an
experience in this way you will see things as if through your own eyes.
In particular you will recall the inner feelings associated with it. Think
back to an important event in your life, such as meeting someone for the
first time, starting a new job, or whatever. Associate with the memory,
using all modalities (Representational systems), then describing such an
experience we tend to use appropriate first-person language, such as 'I
feel', 'the way I see things', and so on. This perceptual position
equates to personal 'consciousness'. Do you know, for instance, whether
the colour 'red' means the same to somebody else? Objective scientists
usually mistrust this subjective state (which partly explains the slow
progress in cognitive science and understanding the human mind).
Conversely, we cannot think wholly objectively from an associated, first
perceptual position.
Second Perceptual Position
The second perceptual position views an experience from the position of
the other party to a communication or event - an interested party. From
this perspective, you start to understand how the other person feels. In
any communication or mutual experience people perceive things
differently. We saw this in the presupposition: 'The map is not the
territory.' By projecting yourself into the other person's map of reality
you get an important new perspective. To do this, imagine stepping inside
someone else's skin and experiencing the world as they do. Listen to
'you' and notice the response. We associate this perceptual position with
empathy, or 'putting yourself into the other person's shoes'. The skill
of taking second position will give you far more accurate information than
just wondering how a person feels. Conflict in a communication or a
relationship usually calls for a second perceptual position on the matter. When you understand better how the other person sees and feels things,
your own feelings will probably change. Your changed attitude to the
person will then tend to increase rapport. So they will also change. And
the increased rapport will in turn make it easier for you to see their
point of view. A perceptual position 'switch' can start a positive spiral
of better communication. Behaviour that seems wrong or strange can take
on new meaning when you perceive it from the other person's point of view.
In fact most of the time each of us believes that we act rightly,
sensibly, normally - with good reason. To genuinely take on a
second-person position means that you begin to understand the validity of
perspectives different from your own. You can also begin to under-stand
the real purpose behind another person's actions or words (which they
themselves may not have identified). And this might give the key to the
right communication to bring about your own outcome, through them. Of
course, we can never fully understand the subjective consciousness of
another person. NLP does not offer psychic gifts. But it can take you a
long way towards seeing things as another person does, whether you agree
with them or not. To take different perceptual positions requires an
imaginative 'as if ' skill that anyone can develop, with practice. Even
very small children use their fertile imaginations to empathize with
suffering siblings and friends. For most of us, the skill of taking the
second perceptual position involves removing mental blinkers and
unlearning long-established thinking patterns. But, with practice, we can
all revive some latent, natural empathy.
Third and Nth Perceptual Positions
When using the third perceptual position to view an experience. you act as
a complete outsider or third party, and not direct party to the
communication - like the classic, wholly objective, independent, 'fly on
the wall'. You take the disinterested scientific viewpoint, the role of
the impartial observer. You distance yourself from the action and the key
players, stand back and observe. This position can represent any
perspective other than those of the parties to the communication. For
example, you could adopt the viewpoint of a consultant, parent, casual
observer, school teacher, and so on - to the nth degree. Ask yourself.
'What would it look like to so-and-so?' This way, you can open up infinite
viewpoints.
Each position has its own importance. It simply differs from the others,
giving different meaning in different contexts and circumstances.
Together, the viewpoints will give a comprehensive perception of any
experience. Although identified as distinct perceptual positions, in
practice we tend to move from one to the other without consciously doing
anything other than 'thinking about' an issue. Having said this, some
people will have a preference or aptitude for one way of thinking. A
person who tends to view things in a detached, objective, impersonal,
abstract way will feel at home with the third perceptual position. A
person who can easily empathize with another person and 'feel for them'
will naturally take a second-person position. And a person who seems to
dwell only on their own subjective experience instinctively takes the
first perceptual position. You can extend your skills to develop all three
perspectives, match those used by other people, and thus create better
rapport. Experienced salespeople, negotiators and counsellors readily use
each position in their work. As well as the communication benefits,
adopting these different perceptual positions can enable your mind to come
up with creative ideas and solutions to difficult problems. By thinking in this way we open up new brain networks. The unfamiliarity or 'difference'
stimulates the brain to give special attention. Insights and intuitions
suddenly occur to us when we adopt unfamiliar perceptual positions. So the
benefits apply to far more than communication, improving every aspect of
your thinking.
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