Ecstatic Birth

Raw Pregnancy & Childbirth

By Jinjee and Storm Talifero


Jinjee's Story

I am excited about writing this eBook because my experiences with four pregnancies and births in the last eleven years have led me to believe that eating a 100% raw-vegan diet during pregnancy can lead to a dramatically easier pregnancy with a far easier and quicker childbirth and recovery than usual, while resulting in a healthy and happy baby.

I have spoken with many other raw-vegan women who have found the same to be true. I have read the words of raw-vegan mothers who described delivering their babies with words like "he slipped into the world like a lamb" (in Dr. Walker's book "Fresh Vegetable and Fruit Juices"). Hygeia Halfmoon Ph.D. wrote a book called "Primal Mothering in a Modern World" (available at http://www.rawfood.com) in which she describes her raw-vegan childbirth as completely pleasurable, orgasmic and ecstatic. She delivered her baby herself with only her two young daughters present. Many women are now delivering their babies on their own. This is called "sovereign birth". I feel that a sovereign birth is more natural and easier than a hospital birth because there is no interference and therefore the woman can focus on her labor. However I believe that a husband/wife unassisted homebirth is even more ideal. I will describe why further on.


Raven's Birth:

I first became a raw-vegan when I met Storm 11 years ago. (Storm has been raw for over 30 years). I quickly lost 45 lbs. of unwanted weight, cleared up my acne-troubled skin, dissolved an undiagnosed lump in my breast, and healed from candida, hypoglycemia, depression, and chronic fatigue. Within a few months I was pregnant with our first child, our daughter Raven. I didn't yet trust the raw-vegan diet enough to stick with it during my pregnancy. For the first time I researched "nutrition" and learned what the scientific and medical community believes that we need to eat to grow a healthy baby. I found that I could meet all the requirements with the raw diet except for the protein. So during my pregnancy I ate a lot of raw foods but I also forced down peanut butter sandwiches and rice and beans to get that protein. I was a cooked-vegan. I found I had to really push myself to eat to get the "necessary" amount of recommended calories. That was a new experience because I had been dieting or trying to diet constantly since I was 15. I did however draw the line at taking supplements the size of horse-pills that I was given by a prenatal care doctor.

My pregnancy was easy. I had a little nausea from the smells of certain foods, but no actual morning sickness. I jogged for the first five months and afterwards walked every day in the park beside our condo in Santa Barbara. Storm encouraged me to train for childbirth. He said labor is like "playing three games of pro football back-to-back".

My labor with Raven, with Storm and our friend Oms acting as midwives was 30 hours long. It was complication-free however, a natural home-birth in our living room, and I'll never forget seeing Raven crown and pushing her out, the most intense and exciting moment of my life thus far. I felt like I was going to burst wide open. Afterwards I felt as though I had had a life and death experience and I was just glad to be alive. We lay down in our loft with the baby nursing and fell asleep exhausted. Raven was healthy, 7 lbs., and nursed well, although she was a fussy baby. She would cry every evening at twilight and the only thing that worked to calm her was flying her around the room, dancing with her, for an hour or two! Maybe there was something in my cooked-vegan diet that made my milk disagree with her.

When I took Raven for a "well-baby check-up" the doctor was very annoyed with me regarding my vegan diet and my choice to not vaccinate. He said that I had a perfect and very beautiful child and that I'd be very unhappy if anything happened to her because of my choices. He said very sarcastically "I'm glad you've decided to take your child's health into your own hands". I think that perhaps many doctors really believe that we should not take an active part in our own health or to even try to understand anything about our bodies. Fortunately this seems to be changing rapidly for the better. Many doctors now do support people being more active in caring for their own health and many now do support people in their own choices.


Jome's Birth:

About a year later I went back to eating a 100% raw diet to heal from my candida which had returned while I was eating a cooked-vegan diet. Another year passed and I was pregnant with our son Jome. As I had now heard about other raw-vegan women who had birthed healthy babies easily, I was ready to do this pregnancy 100% raw. My health was also so good that I didn't want to give up the diet again. I jogged again during the first five months and walked daily afterwards. I was also involved in singing in a women's music group during the last few months of my pregnancy and I believe that this resulted in an intense musicality that Jome has. We were eating out of the Santa Barbara farmer's markets and my diet consisted of big fresh salads, sprouts, lots of green juice and carrot juice, a great variety of different fruits, and plenty of fresh orange juice. I also ate earthseed bread, a raw "manna" bread. And I ate a lot of tabouli made of parsley, cilantro, green onions, and tomatoes with a dressing of lemons, garlic, olive oil, salt, avocado and honey. I had this at least twice a week. It is a great way to get iron because the parsley is iron-rich while the tomatoes are vitamin-C-rich, and iron is more easily absorbed into the body in the presence of vitamin C. I also drank raspberry leaf sun-tea and lots of water. Raspberry Leaf tea is known to be a great tonic for pregnant women.

My pregnancy was completely easy and I was very relaxed and happy. I experienced no nausea whatsoever. My childbirth with Jome was also at home, with just Storm and three-year old Raven attending. My labor was only 45 minutes long with a 10-minute hard labor. It was so easy that right afterwards I said "Storm, I don't feel like I've given birth". And after nursing Jome and delivering my placenta I helped to clean up our birthing scene. Jome was a very content baby, just nursing and sleeping. And I feel an unbroken connection of peace and an unbroken stream of energy with him since the day he was born that is still with us today. He has an incredible peace about him, although he has a fierce temper and an abundance of energy. He also weighed 7 lbs. at birth and was totally healthy. We took all our babies to a doctor for a "well-baby check up" about a week after they were born and received a "perfectly healthy" thumbs up each time.


Shale's Birth:

After Jome was born we moved to Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. We had an incredible summer eating out of our garden and swimming a mile in a pristine lake three times a week. It was the highest level of health I have ever experienced. My body and face rejuvenated to the point where I looked younger than I did in my late teens. I was reaching new levels of creativity in music and business, and I found that my emotions were so balanced I never lost my patience with Raven as I had sometimes before. This emotional balance more than anything else is what made me want to stay raw for life. I realized that when ones colon is stressed from cooked food and the large quantities we have to eat to gain enough nourishment from cooked food, then ones whole system is stressed. A stressed colon leads to a stressed body, mind and spirit. I also realized the enormous difference in the level of nutrition in the foods that come straight out of the garden as compared with even organically grown farm food. The land in a garden is nutrient rich because it has never been commercially farmed. On the other hand most organic farms are on land that was commercially farmed for 50 years before it became organic. Therefore the farmland soil usually doesn't contain nearly as high a level of nutrients as the virgin garden soil does. This experience of eating out of the garden inspired me to call our raw foods website "TheGardenDiet.com".

Our first winter in Canada, gardening season being over, we had trouble finding enough fresh organic raw foods to buy for our family. We still believed we needed lots of food, and a huge variety of foods. I "broke the seal" and started having occasional "non-raw" treats, especially of the chocolate variety. This little opening in the seal gradually became larger and larger until I found that I was once again a cooked-vegan. I knew I wanted to be 100% raw, but at the same time I reasoned that now that I was off the path I might as well eat a little bit of everything not raw first. By the time we conceived Shale in the spring of 2000 I was a total cooked-vegan again. I stayed a cooked-vegan throughout my pregnancy.

Since Raven's birth was 30 hours and Jome's was 45 minutes, I figured I had better be ready for a 5-minute labor with Shale, if the ratios remained the same. I believed that each birth would be easier as my body became more used to childbirth. However, although the pregnancy was as easy as ever, I was in labor with Shale for 40 hours. Another natural home-birth, but with a painful hard labor. Another healthy baby. Two weeks later it dawned on me that the reason that Jome's birth was so easy compared to the others was my 100% raw pregnancy. I suddenly had a vision of the molecules in raw foods spinning fast, going into the body, and becoming bodily tissues made of cells that also spun fast, filled with light, making the tissues elastic, easily expanding to allow a baby passage into the world. I saw cooked food molecules barely spinning at all, very dense, becoming bodily tissues that were denser and less elastic. This vision explained to me why my labor was so easy as the tissues of my cervix and birth canal more easily expanded to let the baby out. It also explained why the raw diet is so rejuvenating and healing, why raw-vegans' skin looks so radiant, youthful, and wrinkle-free, and why Storm's muscles don't seem to notice the influence of 54 years of gravity. This vision was so strong that it made me go back to a 100% diet cold turkey right away. So Shale was nursed on a 100% raw-vegan Mother, and has never eaten cooked food in her life. She is three now. Shale was a happy baby from the start and is still a wonderfully healthy and happy little girl. Unlike Raven and Jome who have often been through skinny phases Shale is a "brick house". This is interesting considering that Raven and Jome have eaten cooked food (during my vegan phases) whereas Shale hasn't! Since Shale's birth I haven't eaten cooked food in my home except on rare occasions as a closet cooked-foodaholic! After Shale's birth I was 100% raw-vegan for two years. Then a year and a half ago I was hired to prepare a "healthy" breakfast for a group of people attending the retreat center we were staying at. The fresh home-baked bread and butter seduced me and I cracked the seal once again. I started on a year of "fighting" or what I call "100% raw with cheating", which may really have been more like 99% raw all told. This ended when I found out I was pregnant with Adagio.


Adagio's Birth:

This is what I wrote the morning after Adagio's Birth.

This morning at 1:30 AM Adagio was born.

I had a false labor a few days ago, pleasant contractions about 5 to 30 minutes apart all day. They went away when I went to sleep that night. I think this was helpful in making my actual labor easier and faster. Some of the work of the cervix effacing and opening was already done during this false labor.

Then yesterday I had similar light contractions on and off all day, some a little more cervix-oriented and uncomfortable rather than the abdominal squeezes of the false labor. I thought it could easily be another false labor though. Storm and Jome went to Santa Barbara. Around 8:30 at night I was pretty sure I was in real labor. I had three contractions 5 minutes apart that I had to stop for (I was sweeping the floor). A final test was that they kept coming even when I lay down. (false labor is supposed to stop if you change positions from lying down to standing/sitting or vice-versa). So I called Storm and he started heading home. I wasn't sure if he'd make it in time, so I asked Raven to clean up the bedroom while I showered, which she did beautifully. Didn't know if there would be time for an enema, or if I really thought it necessary to do one, although I'd done it before my other three births.

I put on a movie for Shale and Raven, did the dishes, set up the birthing room with candles, shower curtain on the floor to protect the carpet, the layette (baby clothes, receiving blanket, cloths and diapers), Storm's birthing tools (the birthing knife and floss for cutting the cord, goldenseal for the navel), jojoba and olive oil to massage my perineum, and two wooden chairs to support my squat.

I did some yoga poses between contractions, did a little dance (snake-like, as Hygiea puts it) which seemed to make contractions feel much better, less uncomfortable. I moved in whatever way made them feel better and this really put me in touch with with what was going on in my womb, with my baby, and with my cervix. It was like a massaging, happy, joyful feeling, allowing my whole body and spirit to participate in the action. It also made me tune in to the sexiness of giving birth. It IS a dance! On some contractions I supported my tummy at the lowest point, where the cervix was opening inside, praying and visualizing the baby was in the right position. I had a little worry that it might be breech or transverse because I thought I had felt the head in the upper position, but I gave it up in faith to God, Mother Spirit, Brother Jesus, and the Merciful Angels that the baby was right and if otherwise that I would get through it and if otherwise that I would remain in faith that everything will be OK even if it is not!

My goal was to deliver painlessly without any tearing, just by surrendering to my body, eliminating interference, and having full faith, living faith, moment-to-moment.

Storm arrived home around 10:00 PM. I did an enema, got the kids ready for bed, and lay down with Storm while Jome read to Shale in the bunk bedroom. (Raven had fallen asleep in the top bunk). Shale came in to be with us and Jome fell asleep. Then Shale fell asleep. The coast was clear. My contractions picked up in intensity. This was around midnight or 12:30 AM.

I did several contractions alone in the bathroom by candlelight. I did several in the bedroom, Storm lying in bed watching me, me dancing, or supporting myself in a squat breathing hee-hee-hoo (Lamaze breathing method which worked really well during my labor with Jome though I got a bit dry in the mouth) or breathing deeply (I decided this time that I'd breath the way my body told me to rather than the Lamaze breathing, but sometimes fell back on Lamaze as a way to manage some of the more intense contractions. The variety was good), sometimes moaning as though in ecstasy, one time singing a long tone to bring light into my womb and lower chakras (a music therapy practice). Then a few more contractions alone in the bathroom closer together and more intense yet. I found in the bathroom that I really let myself bear down more with the contractions because I wasn't worried about fluids etc. being eliminated, or about not showing my intense concentration which might have looked like pain. It was a good time to be alone; these few intense contractions right before transition.

I knew that my water was going to break on the next contraction. So I brought a towel into the bedroom and put it on the shower curtain between the two chairs. On my next contraction my water broke. Just before I had it, Storm says, "do you find the other three labors helped?" "Oh Yeah!" I said. "So you know where you're at" "Uh-huh"....Boom, my water squirts out onto the towel. Hard labor starts just about immediately, as it always does right after my water breaks. My hard labor (second stage labor) lasts about 10-20 minutes total. I can't say exactly how long because it is such an outside-of-time experience. I have three contractions right on top of each other. I manage to ask Storm not to talk during my contractions. These are the transition where the baby is coming into the birth canal. I am grunting and groaning like a dying moose, and bearing down, squatting, then on all fours, back and forth, rocking, really giving myself over completely to my body, being completely present in the affected regions, moving however my body wants. Storm thinks I need chairs to support myself so he's arranging them around me, or asking if he should but I say "I'm good", "I'm fine". But this takes me out of my inward focus, which is when I asked him to not talk which he didn't and that made it so much easier.

My legs are strong. I can squat forever. In the short seconds between contractions I ask for the olive oil. I massage it into my perineum. I ask for water. I drink. During one of these intense transitional contractions he says maybe being on your hands and knees will feel better. So I do it, and he's right, it takes the pressure off. He massages oil into my lower back as I grunt and groan and rock, telling him "I can feel the baby in the canal" and "thank you, thank you!" I say for the massage, which feels so good and makes the pain into pleasure. He has gotten naked too. I have taken off my sweater and he pulls off my socks. He asks if he can turn on a light and I say "oh yeah". I say "Oh baby, oh baby" during the massages. It turns my moans of pain into moans of pleasure. No examining, no saying, "time to push". My body knows exactly when and how to get the baby out. I have another contraction. The baby feels huge in the birth canal, and I think its trying to come out both my front and back at once, so I wonder if the baby is breech.

"Can you see anything?" I ask Storm. "Not yet". Another contraction right on top of that "Now can you see?" "I see the head!" says Storm. What a relief! I can do this now! This contraction the head remains in the opening extending it painfully yet I can feel the head, the little round head with the palm of my hand and it feels so good and warm. The contractions in hard labor have all run together, no time in between many, and now I'm already ready to push this head out, instinctively holding my perineum to ease his head through it without ripping. I'm kneeling on the floor, and his head is out, face down. "OK. Should we get the rest out?" asks Storm. He doesn't instruct me this time at all.

And then the baby slides out into my hands. "Its a boy!" Storm says! "A boy!" I say. I put him to my breast but he's not sucking, he's gurgling. Must've swallowed a little fluid. He was asleep when he first popped out. I was like "You SLEPT through that?!" He cried a little, really softly, muffled by the gurgling. I'm still kneeling. Storm gets his bass recorder and plays some music, as he always does to the newborns. Adagio watches him intently. I rub in some of the goop (called vernix) covering him, which is supposed to be good for his skin.

Trying to get him to suck a nipple, now just looking at him, so small and perfect. Storm and I just marvel. We express our relief and gratitude. Storm says he's so proud of me. He really is. And I'm amazed at him too. He totally supported me in my new ideas of non-interference and even when I offered to let him check my dilation he said no. The ideas made sense to him too. The ideas of no pushing, and no interfering with the body. Then Storm cut the cord, carefully tying floss to the cord an inch from the navel, another piece two to three inches further away. Waited for a couple of minutes. Then cut gently. Adagio watched as I held him, still kneeling, or maybe squatting now.

My legs fell asleep from kneeling on them so long. Storm held Adagio, sitting on the bed together, while I squatted awaiting the afterbirth, watching the two of them, mopping up the blood and whatnot on the shower curtain. Diapered Adagio, Dagg for short. Then tried again to get him to nurse, he sucked a little bit, then I felt a possible contraction so gave Dagg back to Storm. I walked to the bathroom, very relieved, very happy, grateful, my heart bursting with gratitude, to wait for the placenta to come. It is supposed to come within 20 minutes of giving birth. Mine always seem to take about 45 minutes to an hour. I sat on the toilet, - nothing. Got in the shower, showered a half-hour, - nothing. So turned off the shower, but then out the placenta slipped into my hands. I put the placenta in a bowl ~ Storm will bury it under a tree later according to African tradition. I showered again to clean myself off and then went to bed.

Dagg was sleeping on Storm's stomach. I tried again to nurse him but he fell back asleep. Storm and I look at him a long time. I think we sleep a little. I lie Dagg on my stomach and we talk until 3:00 AM, Storm and I. Then we sleep until 4:00 AM, talk some more, then sleep until 7:00 AM, then Storm brings me an OJ/Banana smoothie. I've had some raisins that I had at the ready in a bowl right after I got into bed the first time, and again in the morning before the smoothie. I don't usually eat dried fruit but I've always loved the heavy iron hit of raisins right after giving birth. Storm leaves for farmer's market. I pee first and report very little bleeding, a nice light red, and absolutely no stinging when I pee - which means no ripping or tearing. My goal is accomplished!

My four children ~ 2 boys and 2 girls are all asleep. It is 8:25 AM. I love the peace. Its a beautiful sunny morning. I'm a little sleepy. I will sleep a bit more now. I have learned so much. I am so blessed. I give thanks!

(Adagio did start nursing that morning and has been at it ever since! Why did he take longer to start than the others did? Maybe he was so well nourished that he was not hungry at first. Maybe he was more interested in connecting with us and looking around).


Later I wrote in my journal:

My most recent labor was just a peak experience, wonderful, blissful, magical, and ecstatic. This is aside from the two minutes where you think you are going to die that I believe are just a part of the wonder of it all. These two minutes, transition, when the baby's head comes out of the womb through the cervix and into the birth canal are so intense that you have to completely surrender. I don't just mean that it helps to surrender, but that you are literally forced to surrender completely to your body. There is nothing else you can do. And I think this is a lesson for parenthood. There are times when we have no control and we need to be able to relinquish control and completely surrender to the higher powers in order for things to work out in all our family relationships. We can always remember how that feels and call on this knowledge when we need it.


Non-Interference

I highly recommend that you read the chapter on childbirth in Hygeia Halfmoon's Primal Mothering in a Modern World, available at rawfood.com. I got this book in my last month of pregnancy and it helped me immensely. If I had gotten it a year earlier I would have had more time to consciously release all my societal fears about childbirth being a medical emergency. It isn't! We have been wrongfully led to believe that it is. According to Halfmoon, PhD's research., hospital births have six times the mortality rate of homebirths! Also according to Halfmoon, PhD's research mammals have a built in reaction to any interference during labor, and that is to shut down their labor until they find a safe place to deliver. This is why such a high percentage of hospital births result in C-sections, epidurals, induced labors and episiotomies. There is almost no way to have a hospital birth without interference, unless couples specifically request this along with a birthing room. And even then I am not sure all hospitals would comply with such a request. Most births are attended by several medical personnel, many of them strangers. Women are examined frequently to determine the dilation of the cervix, the heartbeat of the baby, and the baby's position. There is no way that this can be seen as anything but interference. When I was in hard labor I didn't even want my husband to ask me if I was OK. That's how inward a woman's focus is when in labor.


The Myth of "Pushing"

I also learned that "pushing" is a myth. I think that all these people standing around shouting "push, push" is a way for these people to feel like they had a part in bringing a baby into the world. Everybody wants a piece of this power, this miracle. But guess what. Only YOU deliver your baby. Not your doctor. Not your midwife. Not even your husband. YOU. How can anyone else possibly say they delivered your baby! Sorry, this in a responsibility that is physically impossible to hand off to someone else! Getting back to pushing; your body knows just how much or little and when to push your baby out. Pushing any time other than when your body naturally makes you bear down is rushing things. When you have the contractions that make you bear down you can't help but push. With our first three births Storm had always told me when I was completely dilated and when I could start pushing. Once the baby was in the birth canal he always encouraged me to push, believing that it was dangerous for the baby to be in the canal too long. (I have read about women now who took over an hour to get the baby through the birth canal). I was not sure that Storm would embrace this new information, but he did the moment he heard it, as I did. And with our latest birth he didn't once ask me to push. Rather, he asked me what I wanted, until I told him I wanted silence, and then he spoke to me with touch, which turned out to be the perfect thing.

We do have our primal instincts still! They can't take those completely away. Some women even have them without having to read this kind of information. I talked with a man whose wife had seven children in the hospital. When the doctor told her to push she told him "I ain't going to push but here you go" and popped the baby out. Then she said "Let's go home on hon, we've got laundry to do!" The doctor said she was a baby-making machine. I say she is just one of many women who have survived into the modern world with their primal instincts intact. I found that story very heartening! If this can happen, then people en masse can recognize the truth of the raw vegan diet or find their own way to it even if they don't find a book about it. I think when the evils of the food industry and the medical industry progress so far that they basically hang themselves, when things reach a certain level of corruption, and at the same time as people in general are evolving and becoming more intelligent, we are coming full circle, or even better achieving the next level in an upward spiral and saying "Hey, something is wrong here with the people and industries who I have put my trust in. I better think for myself here if I want to survive".


Husband/Wife Unassisted Childbirth

I would also recommend these two books about husband/wife childbirth: "Pleasurable Husband/Wife Childbirth" by Marilyn A. Moran and "Unassisted Childbirth, An Act of Love" by Lynn M. Griesemer, both available at http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com. The important things I learned from them: First, Pitocin, a drug used in hospitals to speed up contractions is naturally released when the laboring woman's nipples are stimulated. And second, pig semen (called Prostin) is used to soften the cervix and help it to dilate faster. Of course husband semen is just as effective and to most women no doubt more appealing. And third, women very often fall in love with the doctors who deliver their babies. Basically what all this and many other things point to is that childbirth is a sexual act that is meant to take place between husband and wife. The husband brings forth the baby (seed) into the wife because of certain stimulation. The wife also brings forth the baby into the world because of certain stimulation. Uterine contractions are orgasms! The birthing experience is supposed to be orgasmic. It is the largest most intense series of orgasms a woman has, building up to the final orgasm of ejaculating a baby into the world! Birth is not only supposed to be painless; it is supposed to be orgasmic, ecstatic, sexual, sensual, and the final consummation of the marital act!

Most men even have this instinct. The main reason men really don't want to be in the delivery room is not because they are squeamish but because they are traumatized by another man delving into their wives and taking control of a situation which by all natural design ought to be theirs! However Fathers are not expected to participate at all in the birthing of their own children but are made to feel that they are in the way except when they are handed the bill. Is it any wonder that Fathers are not connecting with their children? The American Father spends an average of five minutes a day with his children. Perhaps this is because their paternal instincts are squashed before they even have a chance to feel them. Fortunately love is often strong enough to overcome all of these assaults on our natural instincts.

I was happy to read in these books of other women who experienced the sensual touch of their husband during childbirth as transforming pain into pleasure. The more intense the pain the more intense the relief of the pleasure of the sensual touch! It actually makes sense when you think about it. This is what transforms painful childbirth into ecstatic childbirth! As you can see the Father is very very much an essential, important and irreplaceable part of the birth of a child.

Since this birth, Storm and I have fallen in love on a whole new level. We birthed this child completely together, as an act of love. Right after the delivery the afterglow was incredible! It still remains with us in a very strong way. When pleasurable husband/wife childbirth becomes common practice I believe it will have incredibly powerful changing effects on the world. I think this practice will unite women and men as never before, healing the war of the sexes, uniting yin and yang, ending many of the polarity battles on this planet including the left/right wing partisan hatred. The political "right" represents the strength of the male while the "left" represents the tolerance of the female. Both are necessary. We will eventually learn to bring these into harmony.

Storm and I have often wondered why we managed to stay together when so many people, especially inter-racial couples with children don't. We are very different in so many ways beyond this, including our ages and our religions. Perhaps it was the way we birthed our babies that was responsible. There is a bonding hormone called oxytocin that is released during childbirth that is like a love potion. The same hormone that bonds mother and baby also bonds father and baby as well as bonding the parents to each other. This is why women so often wrongfully fall in love with their doctors. The hormone has just missed its target.


The Family Bed

Another interesting natural chemical, cholecystokinin, is produced in the body when either parent has skin to skin contact with the baby during sleep. This chemical causes the healing and restful properties of sleep to be augmented. So when you sleep with your baby you receive a deeper and more energizing sleep to make up for the rigors of taking care of an infant. Another benefit of sleeping with your baby is that neither you nor your baby has to wake up fully to nurse. You can simply latch the baby on and go back to sleep. I don't know how a woman can function when she has to wake up three times a night, make a bottle, and sit up and feed her baby. The common concern about sleeping with your baby in your bed rather than putting him in a crib is that you will roll over onto him or that he will suffocate in the bedclothes. Personally I find babies a bit lumpy to sleep on. In other words unless you are drinking a bottle of wine before bed, chances are you are going to be aware enough even in your sleep to notice if you are lying on top of a baby. And if your baby is reasonably healthy he will start to thrash and make noises if he has been covered up with bedclothes in a way that cuts off his access to oxygen. If you are sleeping next to him, you will be sure to notice this. Sleeping next to your baby you will naturally be more aware and tuned in to him.


In the future imagine couples drawing up a birthing plan for their doctors as such:

"We would like to deliver our child in a birthing room with muted lights and in peace. We would like to be left entirely alone unless any complications arise in which case we will ring the bell for help. We would like to avoid any examinations during labor and hard labor. We would like to deliver the baby by ourselves and on our own, unless any complications arise. We will let the baby come out in its own time, whether this is several hours or several days. We will not rush labor or rush the baby out of the birth canal. We will not push on demand but rather let the body push the baby out. We will cut the cord after it stops pulsating. We will not circumcise our child. (Circumcision is basically male mutilation. The first thing we do to our boy babies when they are born is cut off the top of his most sensitive part. What a welcome! They say babies don't feel pain. Any Mother who has heard the scream of her infant with that little gurgle in his throat will tell you that that is complete nonsense!). We will massage the fluids covering the baby into his skin. We will put him on the mother's nipple and nurse him until the placenta is delivered. When the baby is nursed to sleep the mother will shower and we will sleep together with the baby. We will powder goldenseal onto the baby's umbilical stub daily until it falls off, then powdering the navel with goldenseal daily until it is healed. The birthing room should have a double or better yet a king sized bed. When we are rested we will return home. If we suspect that anything may be amiss with the baby or mother we will then bring them in for an examination"

After writing this I can't really imagine a hospital OK-ing something like this yet. However I may be completely wrong. Things are changing so very fast. However I believe that you would be more comfortable birthing your baby at home. There are even times in your labor when you may want to be completely alone so as not to have to be self-conscious at all, depending on how self-conscious you are with your mate.


Getting Through Transition

There will always be a 2 to 15 minute part of hard labor where you say, "I can't do it". But that's just part of what makes you able to do it! You are a storm, a force of nature. You go through every emotion, every type of bodily function, every terror, every pain, every joy, every power. The Universe whirls through you and you are the Universe. You are the center of the Universe, the storm and the eye of calmness in the center of the storm. Nothing can describe it. As a woman I feel so lucky to have been able to experience this magic. We are the only ones who can share what the magic of life and death feels like. People generally don't remember their own births and most people don't come back to report what death is like. But we can speak about what it is like to be a portal into this world. No two labors are anything alike. It is a heavy magical miracle that allows you to be able to give birth. Stay with it. Hang in there. Experience fully the joy and the pain, the terror and the power. Its when you say "I can't do it" that many doctors still step in and say "OK, we'll handle this for you". It gives them permission to drug you, to cut you open, and to hand you a bill for $20,000. 15 minutes of pain (mingled with ecstasy!) is better!

During my transition with Jome, I visualized a flower opening with each contraction. I also focused on a candle, which seemed to help. During the most intense wave (thinking of contractions as waves is good) I thought of Jesus on the cross and how he might have borne that pain. And I realized that what I was calling pain was only mild discomfort in comparison.

During many of my contractions with Adagio I danced. I danced like a wave, flowing, in ways my body wanted to move. I smiled. I rolled my eyes back in my head. I sang. When you move during your contractions you can feel what movements ease the contractions, easing the baby out.

Also, it is wonderful how contractions in the beginning of labor start out very gently and then slowly increase in intensity, giving you time to get used to them, learning as you go, getting more and more in touch with what your body is doing with each contraction. First labors are often longer to allow you more time to get used to them. There is no rush. Hygeia was in labor for two days very happily. Be patient and enjoy the whole process. My friend had an epidural which wore off just as she went into hard labor. She was shocked at the intensity of her contractions and felt she would have handled them better if she had been able to experience them gradually increasing in strength.


Fasting During Labor

When I go into labor I stop eating. I also do an enema. Fasting during labor gives you extra energy for childbirth. It gives your body more room for the baby to move around as necessary. When you bear down during childbirth you often can't help pushing out the contents of your colon. That is why we do the enema. It gets everything out of your colon so you don't have to deal with any extra mess during the magic time.


Visualizing to Dispel Societal Fears

In the USA childbirth is considered a medical emergency. In some other countries women give birth in their homes quickly and return to work the same day. Perhaps this is because we are conditioned by societal beliefs and fears. In order to release your fears about childbirth it may be beneficial to write down your fears and meditate on each one, releasing each one and creating a new expectation to replace it with. Replace the horror stories with true facts such as that the mortality rate of hospital births is 6 times that of home births. Visualize an ecstatic birth. Nature seems to want our husbands to be present during childbirth. This is why his seed on our cervix can bring on childbirth, as it sends a message to our bodies that he is around to help and is not off hunting or away on business. This is why his touch is the best painkiller available. Although it hasn't been documented as common practice anywhere in history, husband/wife childbirth may still be the natural way. It is nice to see that we are evolving into some new natural practices rather than just digging up old ones from the past. Raw foods and husband/wife childbirth are two such practices. Trust nature. Have faith in your body as well as God. Perhaps they are one.

Faith is the keyword for labor. Complete and total faith, living faith, moment-to-moment faith. Start having this faith now, and keep it up throughout your labor and for the rest of your life. Know that birth is a miracle and that your faith will allow this miracle to take place the way it is meant to. This faith completely expects everything to be ecstatic. At the same time it totally accepts that anything can happen and that if it does, it is meant to be, you will be OK. Even in death you will be OK. That is faith. It is a decision. A decision to take responsibility for anything that happens. A decision to know and trust that you are fine and that you are cared for. In our quest for a guarantee of safety from the medical institution, we give up much. It is another situation in which when you take away death you also take away life, for the two are part of the same cycle, and inseparable.


Birth Plan

Many couples write a birth plan for the hospital before they go in. So I wrote this birth plan for myself a month or so before giving birth.

From now until birth…
~drink lots of water
~eat mainly whole fruits and veggies
~do yoga, walk, build thighs (for squatting strength), circular workout
~visualize painless birth
~let go of fears
~meditate/pray/chant
~connect with the baby
~relax!


Fears To Release....
fear of:
~pain
~C-section
~hospital
~breech
~death
~tearing
~interference
~losing control
~fear itself


Birth Plan for Labor...
~ no expectations, go with the flow
~ its all good, stay positive
~ candles, peace, clean, relax
~ complete faith and trust
~ pray, meditate, chant
~ be in your body
~ surrender to the Mother Spirit
~ massage perineum with olive oil
~ remember Jesus on the cross for comparison
~ focus on how sexy it feels, find the ecstasy!

In contractions...
~ move how your body wants to move
~ breathe how your body wants to breathe
~ deep squat
~ visualize flower opening
~ soft face and soft open lips
~ focus on candle

Between Contractions...
~drink water
~sing/play music
~write/read
~Yoga Poses:
...