BAJune08-Eng.pdf

June 2008

B IBLE A DVOCATE ®

Core Connections

Dodging divorce (p. 4)

Healing for the soul (p. 14)

Celebrating 75 years (p. 28)

A rtICLEs

4 Why stay in a Dificult Marriage? — by Dawn Yrene

8 the Money Factor — by Kathryn Lay

10 Depression: Unveiling the Myths — by David Listul

13 regarding Bible Versions — by Roy A. Marrs

14 songs of the spirit — A BA interview with James

DeFrancisco, Ph.D.

20 Get saved, Get Married! — by Martin Bledsoe

D EpArtMEnts

3 First Word — On Relations — Human and Divine

7 Questions & Answers

16 CoG7 Journey

18 My Journey — by Steven M. Zuraff

22 Youth reach

30 International tour — Mizoram

31 Last Word — Reconciliation

26 C O G7 In ACtIOn

Mts, medical missions, and more

Miss the last issue on new life? View it and the current issue, plus download the

last eight BA’s, at www.cog7.org/BA .

Coming in the July-August BA: faith and politics

In the June issue of Now What? : release from an emotionally abusive marriage

( http://nowwhat.cog7.org )

.org When you see this symbol, visit www.cog7.org/BA for expanded material.

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B A

First Word

B i B l E A D V O C A T E ®

On relations —

Human and Divine

F or me, late spring and summer is a

A publication of the

Church of God (seventh Day)

This magazine is published to advocate

the Bible, represent the Church, and

glorify the God of grace and truth.

Volume 142 • Number 4

(Seventh Day)

All material in this issue is subject to U.S.

and international copyright laws and may not

be reproduced without prior written approval.

Permission may be obtained by writing the

editor.

The BIBLE ADVOCATE (ISSN 0746-0104) is

published eight times a year January-Febru-

ary, March, April-May, June, July-August,

September, October-November, and December

by Bible Advocate Press, 330 W. 152nd Ave.,

Broomield, CO 80023. Periodicals postage

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ofices. Subscription is free to any who ask.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Bible

Advocate Press, Box 33677, Denver, CO 80233-

0677.

terriic time of year. Family birthdays,

anniversaries, and reunions accent this busy and beautiful season.

God’s calendar holds many good days for those who turn from

speaking evil to seeking peace; read it in 1 Peter 3:8-11. To prepare

for good times ahead, why not drain cranky and selish stuff from our

souls today and reill with family, friends, forgiveness, fun, and faith.

Good and bad times are mostly written in relationships, it seems,

and relations are mostly learned at home. That’s why marriage bonds,

parent-child ties, and sibling links are so vital. You can endure tough

times abroad or face them ahead and go on smiling — if you are happy

at home. More than motel and illing station, home and family are all

about being irmly connected to those we love most.

In what sense do we relate with God, if at all? Many people give wit-

ness to a personal link-up with the Lord, which may be understood sim-

ply as another word for faith . To believe in the Divine is to be attached

to Him in a personal way, though in varying degrees. Likewise, is it not

obvious that for a Christian to enter personal relationship with another

human is just another name for love ?

Relational people are made in God’s image, so there must be

something relational about Him. If the eternal, unchangeable God has

always been love, how could He have been alone before the creation?

Can true love exist without an object? Does not love require expres-

sion and an opportunity to be returned?

We’ve heard it said that God created man because He was lonely

and needed someone to love, but the thought of an eternally perfect,

self-suficient, and loving Creator makes that unlikely. Isn’t this fair evi-

dence for a preexistent Son, ever with His Father in heaven?

Relections of God’s bi-unity also show up in the marriage bond,

where two persons live as one lesh in common humanity. Unity and

union: uni-plural words that imply two or more beings, or persons, co-

existing in essential oneness. Is not this the reality of God and the ideal

of marriage?

At a wedding this month or an anniversary gala this summer, re-

member this: A lasting marriage is the union of two good forgivers.

Then thank God: That’s exactly who we have in heaven: two good

forgivers!

Bible Advocate press

Calvin Burrell: Editor

sherri Langton: Associate Editor

Keith Michalak: Director of Publications,

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— Calvin Burrell

June 2008 • 3

in a Dificult

Why Stay

phone number, I was surprised.

Our next outing was a rainy

Fourth of July ishing trip. We

returned soaked but with a pleas-

ant memory. What little Kevin

said was often about the Bible.

As a baby Christian, he had a re-

freshing realness about him and

brought fresh perspectives to life

— especially my spiritual life. We

began attending Bible study and

praying together.

After a few months, he pro-

posed. Despite the good memo-

ries we were making, we were

also starting to disagree often.

Illogically, I assured myself that

marriage would make us “one”

on children, spending, and many

other signiicant differences be-

tween us.

Marriage?

till trials do us part?

Marriage only magniied

our differences. Kevin began to

take his eyes off Jesus, and my

response to his changes did the

same to me. We were looking

to each other to ill the empty

places only Christ can ill — a

form of idolatry. We fought

regularly. Though Kevin could

say sweet things, he also knew

how to make me feel low — even

abused. I was surprised to see

myself, the “good little Christian,”

becoming hateful and vengeful. I

began pondering my friend’s ad-

vice. What if I married the wrong

person? Why stay married if it’s all

about ighting? Why be unhappy

when a simple divorce means

freedom? After all, Christians

aren’t perfect.

Amid this, a still, small voice

kept reminding me of what I had

prayed shortly before meeting

Kevin. “Lord, instead of look-

ing for a man who its my list of

wants, give me to a man who

Quiet miracles happen — even in the most

tumultuous unions. by Dawn Yrene

givable sin,” my friend

hinted, not so subtly. I

had just expressed my deep re-

morse over marrying a man with

whom I had little in common.

Kevin and I had been proof

that opposites attract. He was

the wild type — a tattooed,

leather-clad biker. His irst love

had been his Harley until he met

Christ six months before meet-

ing me. To be honest, Jesus and

Harley still vied for irst place. His

closet was illed with spare parts,

and the motorcycle “herself”

rested in the middle of his living

room when not in use.

I, on the other hand, was a

straight-laced evangelical who lis-

tened to Christian music, worked

a Christian job, and spoke Chris-

tianese. I had my own idols,

though; and at age twenty-six,

marriage was becoming one of

them.

We met at a Christian singles’

retreat. When it was over, I had

found a new friend in Kevin, but

“that’s all,” I assured myself. We

were too different ever to be

more. When Kevin asked for my

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Scott Gressel—Dreamstime.com

“ D ivorce isn’t the unfor-

needs me as his helper, as Adam

needed Eve.” Despite our differ-

ences, Kevin needed a helper,

and the helper God had selected

was me. And I needed Kevin — to

balance me, challenge me, and

cause me to trust God. Through

the painful trials of marriage,

God was purifying me, teaching

me to obey even when it wasn’t

comfortable, and rewarding me

in quiet ways only I could see.

ing my husband would have

exchanged one prison for an-

other: the trap of bitterness and

unforgiveness. Could I, like Paul,

rejoice in my prison cell?

Better people. Without suf-

fering, who would we be? David

lived a life of warfare, moving

from one battle to the next. Yet

David worshipped so joyfully

that he ignited a revival through-

out Israel. His son Solomon, in

contrast, received from his father

a productive and peaceful king-

dom. He enjoyed wealth, wis-

dom, and whatever he wanted.

Yet Ecclesiastes suggests that

Solomon’s easy life led him to

depression, cynicism, and weak

faith.

Strengthened prayer life. God

wants people to stay married, yet

He hasn’t made that road partic-

ularly easy. It’s only by crying out

to God in our inadequacy that

dificult marriages can change

and grow. Isaiah 64:4, 5 says:

No eye has seen any God

besides you, who acts on

behalf of those who wait for

him. You come to the help

of those who gladly do right,

who remember your ways.

With this incentive, I’ve

learned to pray for everything

from simple blessings at home

to complicated requests, such as

how to communicate so Kevin

will understand. I’ve even learned

to pray things I don’t really want

to pray, such as for me to rec-

ognize my sin and for God to

change me into the wife Kevin

needs. My marriage is undeni-

ably better when I pray for my

spouse.

Lessons in forgiveness. If

there’s one thing marriage has

taught me, it’s how to seek and

grant forgiveness. Kevin, who had

suffered through two divorces as

an unbeliever, recently told me

how freeing it is to ask forgive-

ness and receive it. In his previ-

ous marriages, the word forgive-

ness was never mentioned.

In our marriage, the times for-

giveness has been hardest have

also been the times I have seen

God’s rewards in the most amaz-

ing ways. When I truly forgive

Kevin for hurts he regrets caus-

ing, his love for me grows. In the

same way, I love him more when

he sets me free from the debts I

owe him.

Often it comes down to a

simple choice: Will I hold on to

bitterness, or will I love Jesus

enough to put another person’s

needs before my own — even

if that person has wounded me

to the core? Will I be kind to a

spouse who doesn’t return my

kindness, because the Lover of

my soul asks me to, or will I bale

out? If he is a gift from God —

a part of my walk with Christ,

someone who can test my love

Good reasons

Fifteen years and ive chil-

dren later, my dificult marriage

has brought happiness I never

imagined and pain I never knew

I could endure. Kevin has a grow-

ing relationship with Christ, as

do I. Idolatry has been replaced

by awe over God’s forgiveness.

Brokenness and thankfulness

have replaced abusive language

and behavior. Answered prayer

has turned a marriage that was

an embarrassment to God’s

kingdom into a testimony of His

power.

Kevin and I are still more like

black and white than gray. We

need Christ to hold us together.

But our roller coaster ride has

shown me that, contrary to

worldly opinion, there are good

reasons for staying in a dificult

marriage. Here are some.

Learning to rejoice. Many situ-

ations make us feel trapped: nag-

ging temptations, a tormented

past, sickness, poverty, loneliness

— or a troublesome marriage.

The apostle Paul showed us what

to do when there’s no way out:

While in prison, he worshipped

God (Acts 16:25). Being bound

to an incompatible spouse

needn’t stop us from thanking

God, experiencing peace, and

receiving His gifts daily. Divorc-

hardest have also been the times

I have seen God’s rewards in the

most amazing ways.

June 2008 • 5

t he times forgiveness has been

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